Prayer Time

It was Caleb's turn for family scriptures last night. Dad was helping him.

Dad: Bless Jake and Cami while they are in California

Caleb: bless Jake and Cami

Dad: we are grateful for a good Christmas season.

Caleb: good mismis

Dad: bless the missionaries

Caleb: bless my friend tommy

Dad: bless that we will all be good

Caleb: dad, me say that no!

*stifled laughter*

AMEN

Christmas musings

What is figgy pudding? Is it like bread pudding? Because that's my favorite!

Why don't they say "bring us some figgy pudding" in the song anymore? They just say "we all love pu-d-ding." It's awkward.

Does anyone understand the story of Good King Wenceslas? Because I sure don't, and I've heard it twice now.

Kyle has been a lot more scandalous around the holidays. 

I have shopping/making presents done for everyone in my family and besties. Except Kate. She should be the easiest. But turns out she is the hardest. Seriously. 

I went to the Mormon Tabernacle Christmas concert this year. The guest narrator was John Rhys-Davies, he in Lord of the Rings and Indiana Jones. I had a hard time at parts thinking "This man has acted is some pretty great movies, Some of my favorites, and they ask him to come here and narrate this story about Dickens that is painfully corny and so overacted it hurt. He probably thinks all Mormons are this cheesy." I was painfully embarrassed for Mormons everywhere. 

When he recited luke 2 I was dying. He did such an amazing job! I think we should get him to read all the scriptures. I would download that version in a hurry! 

I am not feeling scroogy this year. Not one little bit. I normally struggle because it is one of the times I miss my mom the most. She was so good at Christmas. But Christmas isn't really about moms, it kind of is, it is about our Savior and I have been hanging out with him a lot lately. It has been real good. 

Updating Itunes, and My Life

I'm starting a new job at the beginning of the year. It is exciting, but I will miss my Sure-Loc family very much. I am also moving. And don't forget I got kicked out of the single ward this month. Oh and I am officially 30 pounds down from what I weighed in August! Yeah for me! So much change.

Thanks to my Kyles, my sister, and Cam my heart has been so calm through all of it. Seriously thanks guys.

Today for some strange reason I updated itunes. Turns out this update wasn't so bad. In fact I like it better. So why have I been clicking "update later" for so very, very long? Well because I don't like change. I don't like not knowing what is around the corner. What if I update itunes and I hate it? Then there is no going back. You have something new but you hate it.

I accepted this job and have struggled as the peaceful feeling of confirmation as still not come. I have turned to a few of you as I have struggled to obtain that feeling. The process of obtaining and accepting the job all went so smoothly and everything fell into place so well. It never felt wrong, but it has yet to feel right!

But today... oddly enough as I updated itunes, something whispered to me. This version is going to be better. Click update. You will like it.

I SWEAR I'm Not That Girl

But the other night I was one half of “that” couple.

Kyle and I went out to celebrate my new job! At some point in the evening, at the table, we were both on our phones. I realized it and looked up to say.

“Oh Kyle we are ‘that’ couple right now."

 “I said that to you about two minutes ago and you didn't even respond to me.”

“Oh.”

Later we walked around Station Park… If I had the money I totally would have bought one of those 10 pound Reese’s cup for the movie we went to later. We were walking back to the car and I stopped to use the facilities. Ten minutes later I walk back out to see Kyle patiently waiting for me in the hallway.

“I’m not going to lie. I got distracted on my phone.”

“Awkard.”

Robo Cop

Me: Usman! You are not allowed to watch anything called ‘Evil Dead!’

Usman: Annie this is good movie.

Me: It couldn’t be. I am going to talk to your mom about this.

Usman: Annie, you seen this movie Robo Cop?

Me: NO! Girls don’t watch Robo Cop!

Usman: But this movie is only PG-13, you can watch.

Me: It isn’t the rating that keeps me from watching that movie. Girls don’t watch Robo Cop.

Usman: I think some girls do.

Me: Well maybe if their boyfriend or husband was watching it and they wanted to cuddle up to him. But she would never go home, but on her stretchy pants and settle in for a long night of Robo Cop.

Usman: I think she would.

Me: AND… She would certainly never call up her best girlfriend afterward and tell her all about the movie and tell her that she just had to see it.

Usman: Why girls not watch the best movie? 

Gifting Father

My dad is impossible to buy for. But does anyone have a dad whose easy? I doubt it. Mine complicates things by saying he'd be happy with anything and requesting socks every year.

He further complicates things by not being your average father. He doesn't watch sports, he doesn't play golf, and he buys what he wants.

Has anyone ever successfully purchased a gift for their father that they want to share?

You Can't Take Me Anywhere.

So awhile ago I attended an event at The Grand America with Wade. It was red carpet, for real, fancy. And there was a table outside the VIP cocktail suite that had free socks. Nice socks. So I took some. I told Wade to put them in his pocket for me and he refused. I just had a fancy clutch, no purse. But I took them anyway and carried them around with me all night. Classy!

Two nights ago Kyle took me to an event downtown. We were walking around enjoying the exhibits, meeting new people, and eating the fabulous food when I noticed that one of the food tables had Ruby Snap cookies. I had never had one before, but I knew they were expensive. Like 20 dollars for a dozen (not lying.) So... I put a couple in my purse. A couple of different times. Classy.

I made Kyle try one of the cookies. It had a rich chocolate mousse filling. Kyle response was "there is something spicy in that cookie."  
"Like what?" I ask. "Like whiskey" he tells me. "Well get over there and grab me another whiskey cookie!" Turns out... No whiskey. They had a spicy pepper in the middle. They were delicious.

And I just now, while finishing this blog, ate the last whiskey cookie. That I stuffed in my purse two nights ago.

Please, I'm always available for your event. You know... if you need to add a little spice! I mean class.

He's Going to Want a Cookie to Go With It.

Last night I went out with my friend Scott and he tried to convince me to date a certain man...

Scott: Just Kiss him

Me: No

Scott: Just a little kiss

Me: I can't

Scott: Like not even on the cheek?

Me: No

Scott: Why not? He is like the perfect guy!

Me: Because If I kiss him, he'll probably want a date to go with it.

Scott: So?

Me: And if we date he will probably want a girlfriend to go with it.

Scott: That sounds fine.

Me: And if I become his girlfriend he will probably want a fiance to go with it.

Scott: Isn't marriage what we are all looking for?

Me: And if we get engaged he'll probably want a wedding to go with it.

Scott: That seems logical.

Me: And if we get married he will want a baby to go with it.

Scott: Perfect!

Me: All from one little kiss.

Scott: So you can't kiss him... because... you might get everything you've always wanted?

Me: ...

The Reasons

Dad: But why aren't you dating him anymore?

Me: I can't get past the fact that you called him polite.

Dad: What's wrong with that?

Me: Well you met him and that was your only impression.

Dad: Well he was polite.

Me: When you met Drew and I asked for your opinion, you told me to marry the guy!

Dad: But there's nothing wrong with this one.

Me: Well polite isn't exactly on the top of my list dad.

Dad: Well it SHOULD be. Isn't that pretty important?

Me: But I don't want that to be the only thing you come away with after meeting him.

Dad: But he's considerate right? He's really good to you?

Me: Oh for sure dad, the best.

Dad: Well Reese...

Me: and dad... Kate called him boring.

Change

I blame Mr. Draney for this. It was his suggestion for my work day... and it is fabulous! Turns out it plays Sinatra and my boyfriend Harry Connick Jr., and Mr Dean Martin.

It's just a tad different from my other listed stations.

This is a change I can get behind.

Thankful

I have been extra needy the past week or two as I anticipated some big news and while I grew anxious for a lot of changes I see coming up in my near future. I love change, I really do. It is the not knowing just how much and when that I have been struggling with for a few weeks.

* I am grateful for Zac who can ALWAYS make me laugh.. and always has time even though he has NO time.

* I am grateful for Kate who tells me "at least you don't have three GIANT acne's like I do" and then snapchats me a picture of them.

* Jill who likes to talk quilt patterns, missing moms, and icky boys.

* Cameran who doesn't mince words and constantly reminds me of my worth, and where that worth should stem from.

* Sarah who checks up on me from all the way across the country, lets me know she loves me, and is a fabulous substitute mom for me.

* Kyle A who gives me the man logic straight talk, and doesn't take any of my excuses.

* Kyle D. who calms my heart, and offers to rescue me from any form of "monster" that may present itself.

* Lolly who lets me snuggle her baby while she whips up a delicious meal.

*The boss man who buys me a Diet Coke so I'll stop "sounding like an opera singer."

Thank you.

It is all up from here!

But...

I don't have an eating disorder,

but sometimes I struggle with my body image.

I have never had a man raise his hand to me, 

but sometimes I let men effect my self worth.

I'm not depressed

but some days it's okay to be sad.

I don't have anxiety

but sometimes I worry.

I have good friends, 

but sometimes I miss my mom desperately.

I'm not lonely,
but I hope for my maverick soon.

I am happy.
but it's okay for life to change. 

Halloween Confessions

I can't wear costumes. Seriously I can't do it. I feel ridiculous. I can create awesome costumes for other people. And last night when kiddos came to Kyle's house to trick or treat I was dying of the cuteness of those kiddos. Especially the little diver with his little scuba tank, OH. MY. HEAVENS.

* * * * * 

Thursday morning I almost had the most embarrassing moment of MY ENTIRE LIFE. Seriously. I would never have been able to see any of my friends again. EVER. EVER! It is so bad that it is funny in my mind and I keep laughing at how close i was to disaster. I need to tell someone before it explodes inside me but I can't think of anyone I could tell and survive the embarrassment.... Wait.... Zac... Expect a call later.

* * * * * 

I am doing something this week that is super scary. It is taking all the strength of my heart, and the patience of Dave to get me through it. More to come in a few days on this. If it ends of happening.... But it's happy news!

* * * * *

I gained half a pound yesterday... If it is because last night I had a Diet Coke and 3 popsicles for a late night snack.... I am not even sorry. Take that diet! Don't tell Dave.... They were the competition's popsicles. But if he made Grapefruit fruit bars there wouldn't be an issue.

* * * * *

I have reached a new weight loss goal... I have officially lost 20 pounds since the diet started this summer! Yeah for me. But now none of my clothes fit. They look big and baggy and are not flattering.

* * * * *

Dave and I almost, kinda of... went to the Howl last weekend. When my boss found out he said "Annie you are about a 1,000 years too old for that. Talk about a super senior." But I actually didn't feel awkward about it at all.

* * * * *

Yesterday I was getting ready for the day. I had purple eyeshadow on just like mom. I noticed then that I was wearing EXACTLY the kind of blue collared button-up shirt that she always wore, and that my current hair color is hers. I stopped at the mirror for a minute and caught my breath as I looked at my mom staring back at me. For that moment I felt beautiful and unstoppable.

Gender Based Shopping

Me: I did something naughty today.

David: What did you do?

Me: I bought new boots.

David: Like for the rain?

Me: No

David: For fishing?

Me: Nope. I have two pairs of wellies already for fishing.

David: What did you gets boots for then?

Me: Well... To be cute!

David: ...

* * * * * * * *

David: So I bought new tools today

Me: Oh really what?

David: A sledge hammer and an axe!

Me: Oh for what project?

David: Nothing specific.

Me: So why did you buy them?

David: To be a man!

The Warehouse Boys

J: Annie, are you listening to the Little Mermaid soundtrack?

Me:No, I'm listening to Tom Petty. That is uh.... coming from the warehouse.

J: ...

Me:Those boys! Seriously they kill me.


* * * * *

Me: Why is there always a Disney princess song on when I come back here?

J: Don't flatter yourself Annie, we don't play them just for you.

Me: So you play them for who? You guys?

J: I just meant... You aren't the warehouse princess or anything.

Me: Except that I am.

The Proposal

Yuck...

I have a friend who very recently became engaged. I am super happy for him. She is super cute and sweet, and very faithful. I like her. He was telling me all about the proposal and the whole time I was uncomfortable with how mushy it was. Finally I said something to the effect of

 "Oh my heavens this is too much sap for me. I can't even handle it, you have to stop!"

J: Whatever! You would love it if it was you.

A: Actually I wouldn't, sappiness makes me uncomfortable

J: I don't believe you

A: Seriously.

J: So what are you looking for? A proposal at the Maverick?

A: Actually yeah that would be fine. Who could say no to a proposal and a Mayonado?

Here are some places we thought of that would be acceptable unto me, after long break room deliberations:

*Bear World
*A Husker game
*The Maverick
*The landfill (okay maybe not there)
*camping
*fishing
*road trip
*bed of a pickup

My favorite story is my brother's story. He was just laying next to her one night, outside looking at the stars and it just came out. "Will you marry me?"
no planning, no rose petals, just looking over at her and thinking this is perfect and I can't imagine my life without her... and then out it comes "marry me." Now that is romance.

Guess what Annie MEANT to text

*I totally invoiced Carrl for our date.

*Do you know where the key to the toilet prayer is?

*OH MY HEAVENS! Greg looks sexy on you. I can barely handle it!

*We need to yang very soon.

*Just trying to find my hair this morning.

Look Who's Back!

and sexier than ever!!!

CHAPS
and this time he has a motorcycle,
and a blanket all ready to go.
Oh my heavens.

And don't worry Bruce (my boss) found him in the copier again and said "Oh look! It's Chaps! He is always waiting for me in your copier!."

You are welcome Bruce!

I'm Dying!

I am sure 110% of you know how I feel about the bottoms of bears. 

Who was with me at the museum a few years ago for this moment?

"Dreams do come true!" is the caption my Mattskie added to this photo on facebook. And of course I replied "It is true, it could happen to you!" Take that as you will... Ha!

So you can understand my excitement when this picture came my way a few weeks ago. 

I can't even handle how much I love this picture! 

BEAR BUMS! Baby Bear bums!!!!!

Want to know what ELSE I am FREAKING out about?

But I have to wait until 2014! 

That doesn't seem fair.

Who wants to go to this movie with me? 

Watching me watch this might be just as much fun as watching the movie itself. 

Or for a real treat we could go to BEAR WORLD! 

Oh my heavens. I would DIE! 

Lastly you may have noticed this is the background on my phone.

This picture is one of the greatest things that has ever happened to me. It is up in my office, the background on my phone, and the bookmark in my scriptures. Tell me that isn't the cutest things you have ever seen! 

You are welcome! 

Itunes is Confused

This morning I turned on the genius feature in my itunes.

I actually quite like the feature.

It organizes your music into playlists that I really enjoy.

"Which one doesn't belong here,

Come on now can you tell which one?"
~Sesame Street 

But I think they may be confused. 

My Urban Crossover mix seems to

have an album that doesn't belong.

Unless The Sound Of Music counts as Urban crossover....

But don't you worry one minute.

Google still has thier act together...

as you can tell by it's latest recommendation on my phone this morning.

Oh Google you get me.

And it worked.

I bought it.

I needed some Keith in my life.

And guess what?

There is a new sexy rainy day song on this album

Glad I bought it yesterday so I have it for this rainy morning.

My Maverick

Babe, I have the funniest story to tell you. So this weekend I was in Idaho with Kate. We were at church and her roommate was speaking. She told us about how she was low on gas so she said a prayer to make it to the gas station. But she wanted to go to the Maverick so she passed two other perfectly good gas stations and ran out of gas. She then compared it to some gospel principle that I ignored.

I instead though of you. My Maverick. I pray for you. I pray to make it without running out of gas. I have passed plenty of 7-11s (slurpees are too sweet for me). I've passed a few Chevrons (I don't do expensive). I've passed the occasional Sinclair, and Texaco because I'm waiting to find the Maverick. Where the gas is three cents less, where I'm comfortable, where they have the best soft serve ice cream, and the bathroom cleanliness is passable.

My Maverick. I don't know where you are tonight, I think I was lost... Circling the wrong block. But I've got it together now, I have my map and we are pointed in the right direction. I'm on my way babe. I'm sorry I'm late, please be open 24 hours... I need a Dirty Diet right about now!

Team Annie

Hopefully everyone had bests like mine. Friends you tell everything to. Friends that understand your heart. Friends that do not, or at least do not show, that they grow weary of your crazy.

I was pondering on my way to Idaho last weekend how it's possible for my bests to have such disdain for one of the men in my life and be writing their wedding toast for me and the other. Then in a few short weeks have switched to thinking the former might actually be what I need right now, and the toast for the later has revisions that include tossing it out the window and asking me to please walk away before I get hurt.

A curiosity... Until I realized Cameran isn't team one boy or another, she is team Annie. Kate is team Annie. Kathy is team Annie.

Except Zac... Zac is team no one will ever be good enough for his Annie. That's okay too.

My Man's Ride

You know how people are said to look like their pets?
I think peoples vehicles reflect their personality.
And I think that as girls we have a type we are interested in.

My friend Megan is looking for this man

You can tell the type from the picture right? Maybe he snowboards, maybe he lives in Moab.

Katy's type is more like this...

Reliable and good with his money.

I have friends who are looking for this type

and friends whose dream is more like this

My type is more like this

But I will probably end up with this

I Wore Fabulous Heels

I was planning on a camping trip last weekend. I was packed and ready to go as I headed off to work on Friday as once again I heard “Don’t go camping this weekend.” Ummm. But I love camping and I want to hang out with my friends. What am I going to do if I don’t go? (I still haven’t learned to stop sassing my Father in Heaven.)

I ended up participating in a life changing event. I attended this charity event for Global Poverty. Wade and I spent the night at the Grand America, we mingled with celebrities in the VIP room (P.S. Larry King is short, hilarious, and has weird hair up close.) I wore a fabulous dress, with fabulous heels and had my hair professionally done. We watched people bid 20,000 dollars on items that didn't even interest us. We looked for a while at the Jewelry being auctioned off and agreed that even if we could afford a 97,000 dollar necklace, I should never own one because I would lose it almost immediately. We had filet mingon and shrimp cocktails and it was all fabulously glamorous.

We were seated at a table with ladies from the organization Backyard Broadcast. They are a group dedicated to ending sex trafficking. I learned that three of the girls were actually girls who were victims of sex trafficking. Born and raised in Utah and trafficked here as well. “Umm I’m sorry, I am that totally ignorant person who thought this only happens in Cambodia. I mean I knew it happened here too but not to Americans.” Yeah I learned a lot that night. As Wade and I left that night we talked about how after mingling with celebrities, we were most impressed with the beauty, confidence, and strength of the girls we met at our table. I can’t even tell you how much these ladies touched my heart.

“So what organization are you here with?”

“Ummm… I just know someone.”

“So you are here to donate?”

I didn't want them to know I was totally a fake. I wasn't there to donate. I hadn't even paid for my own meal. What if they find out that what they are spending on the cheapest auction item is more than I have ever collectively had in my checking account at one time? I felt awful for a moment. I wasn't there because I was changing the world. I wasn't there to donate money to people who are changing the world. I was just there. Annie, you are nobody special, you are a fake, you don’t belong here.

Until a voice whispered “You are here because you are different. You are here because you unconditionally love someone who is different from you. You love someone completely who thinks and feels differently than you about some big issues. You are here because you live your life free of judgment."

You see my date is gay, and I am *gasp* Mormon. Oil and water right? Nope. We just love each other. It doesn't seem like a big deal maybe. But for most of my gay friends I am the only Christian they have come out to who has stayed around. And I have heard more times than I care to remember a friend say to me "You can't love me, you never really loved me. Because you are Mormon and I am gay." But we don't let difference create a division and because of that I was the “plus one” of the most attractive and genuinely kind man in the room, and that makes us different.

I like us, and I am proud of us. 

Be Still My Heart

"Chin up babe, turn on some horribly twangy country and you'll feel much better!" ~Z

OH

MY

HEAVENS

It's Alabama singing with all my Country lovers! I need this in my life right this moment....

*goosbumps*

And to my love who knew I was going through something really hard last week and knew it would go much better with this...

Oh how right you were.

Luke you make my heart happy.

I totally forgot it was supposed to be hurting.

And Now I Can Never Have My Own Cooking Show

Usman: How you see out of blue eyes? How they even work?

Me: Um.. How do you see out of brown ones? Is it like wearing sunglasses everyday?

Pinterest

This is Pinterest's example of a secret pin board.

But we all know that if there was going to be an awkward secret pin board for a secret hottie it should be this one. 

Ha! You are welcome! Don't ask me what crazy fan created this picture but I am dying!

Comfort

I've learned that comfort doesn't mean it's the right fit. Far too often I keep something, or someone, because it's comfortable. Because looking for a new something takes work and patience. And you have to break him in all over again. And you are scared to be alone for that period of time in between.

But why settle for comfort when with a little more looking you can find the perfect fit? Something tailored just for you. Something that makes you look better, and feel better? And let's be honest here, something you will make look better that it ever has on anyone else.

And people will ask you how you found it and where. And you'll say you found it used and even though it was already perfect you did a few minor alterations yourself.

Can I borrow it? Um no? This is a metaphor... Hands off he's mine! If there is someone out there trying on my perfect something... Hands off woman. That doesn't look good on you. Seriously... Stop touching him.

Facebook Recommendation

Facebook,

You might be confused...

Love or Something Like It

Why is it that it is okay for my love to call me "babe" but not "Baby?" One is great, one is yicky.

* * * * *

Me: I would marry the *heck out of you... if you liked girls.

* * * * *

Me: I ended things and I am surprisingly ok.
Him: I think you realized you were ok moving on.
Me: Or a BIG breakdown is just around the corner.
Him: You have to wait I'm having one right now.
Me: That's fair. What's going on?
Him: This isn't about me
Me: Let's make it about you.

* * * * *

M: All Mormon girls are just friends.. until they are married.

* * * * *

J: You do kind of have nature that inspires confrontation it seems.
Me: I enjoy a good fight now and then.
J: Is that why you are with that one guy?
Me: Yeah, I love fighting with him. It's so good.
J: Now that is love.
Me: It just might be

* * * * *
"I know you love me, and you know I love you. We've always known that. I've always let you know where I stand. He can't seem to tell you... That is the difference." ~ Him

* * * * *

There is nothing I value more in a relationship than honesty. Nothing.

* * * * *

The "I love you, I want to marry you, but..." conversation is hard to hear.

But the first half of the sentence is always nice.

* * * * *

Yick and Yuck

 If this is the latest fashion

Then I am grateful to live in Utah

Where occasionally the latest things just pass us by.




Please bless.



Yikes.

Google Recommendation

My phone has Google Cards. 

It is kind of creepy how much Google knows about me. 

Google gets me.

Yes Google, I would be interested in Luke...

... and his new album.

I maybe already have it though. 

Amazon Recommendations

Dear Amazon,

What do you know that I don't?

Suspish

Pidge

It amazes me every time. Seriously. The last time I saw "Pidge" I still thought Snubs and I might happen. Oh how many broken hearts have past since I saw her last. She has been in the Philippines for more years than I want to think about, and I miss her. She has three kids now and her second sets of twins on the way. They finally moved back to the states this week and I got to have lunch with her and meet her kiddos.

As I was pulling away all I could think about was how much my soul had missed her and how I wish Denver wasn't so far away.

Thanks for lunch Pidge!

P.S. Babe, What the Heck?

To The Future Mr. Annie Hall.

It's been awhile since I wrote last. You are still missing. I came home tonight after a hot date and was dying to talk to you. But umm... You weren't here. You are missing it. You are missing all of it. Although once you are here I won't have crazy dates to tell you about. You'll be the crazy. Instead of telling you the crazy thing my date asked or said, I can tell you the crazy thing Charlie told me and we can laugh about it then tuck him into bed. But we can't do any of that until we provide a body for him. He's still waiting babe. Come find us.

Life is so great, and funny, and just when I think it's falling into place the bottom falls out. I'm ready to catch a break. Seriously. Or at least have you here to laugh at me as I stumble through. I mean laugh with me, or I'll punch you.

I'm happy, I really am. I want to share that with you. I want to be part of your happy. I wrote you a song tonight. You are going to love it! If I can still remember it when I find you. It's embarrassing when I laugh at my own jokes. But I'm funny and the song is perfect. Um... You like that I can't sing right? Please bless!

I didn't attend FHE tonight. I am so over activities where I feel like I'm at girls camp. I'm ready for finger puppets, and the peanut butter boy, and "mom Charlie isn't paying attention!" It's your turn to conduct family business. Tonight's family business is where the heck is dad!?

I explained to them that you are working on something very important tonight. You are becoming a better you and are one day closer to finding us. In the mean time we have projects of our own we are working on. The kids are taking important training classes like how to live with a crazy mom. I'm working on the GRE. I could use some tutoring. Seriously, I haven't taken a math class in 12 years.

We are okay waiting. Just don't take too much longer. I don't want to have to get all Saturday's Warrior here. I hope you haven't forgotten about us. Of course that's just silly talk. You are probably wondering where the heck I am tonight and why I haven't gotten my act together so The Lord will allow our paths to cross. Well babe, I've got news for you. I'm not sure I'll ever really have my act together... especially not without you.

Please hurry. I saved a spot for you on the couch.

The 9:30 Cowboy

...and everything else I secretly call him that he doesn't get to know about just yet.

I forgot a birthday post. I lose this round.

It is true. I actually had to have Cameran tell me that David was my best friend.

Cam: Annie you and Dave are best friends.
Annie: Dave? Where did you get that idea?
Cam: It's pretty much obvious to everyone but you.
Annie: Hmm.

Anonymous girl: Pretty much everyone has a crush on Dave
Annie: Really? I don't get it. He is just Dave.
AG: Well you should, I do.
Annie: Nah.

Cut to now.

Annie: I haven't seen you in a week. That isn't good for me.
Dave: Ha ha OK.
Annie: Seriously.
Dave: OK.

Dave:You should come to my soccer game tomorrow.
Annie: Is this a big game with a lot of spectators or will it look like I have a giant crush on you?
Dave: Oh it will look like you have a crush on me.
Annie: I will BE there!

My roommate learned this the hard way. Even after I warned her.

Annie: Anything you tell me I will tell dave.
Jess: Except not this.
Annie: Except nothing.
Jess: Except this.
Annie: Except I already told him.
Jess: Did she tell you?
Dave: What thing are we talking about? Because She has told me a LOT of things.
Annie: I warned you.

Thanks for being the person I tell everything to. Thanks for being patient with me through the crazy days. Thanks for being my rock, for being logical when I can't be. For talking me down from crazy. For sorting through the me I let people see and finding the me I only let you see. For liking that me, in spite of myself.

Just a Thought

I realize more and more every day how well my sister knows me and how grateful I am for her friendship. "Reese, just listen to me. You know I am always going to give you the best advice. Forget everyone else."

* * * *

The other day I was complaining about something and my friend's response was "Babe you are thirty." That is not okay!

* * * *

Spending time with a true gentleman is a game changer.

* * * *

I have been 7 weeks without Diet Coke. It feels great. The other day though I caught myself saying "look we both know you are going to relapse eventually, it might as well be today." That is straight up addict thinking and it scared me a little.

* * * *

I still haven't told the bestie about my incident the other night with the Woods Cross police. But he came really close to guessing it.... I haven't told my father yet either.

* * * *

The Jason Aldean Concert was AMAZING!!! Seriously! Who is going to Luke Bryan with me? I am designing some seriously funny/sexy t-shirts for the event. You will want one for sure!


* * * *

Latest Obsessions

Popcorn
with Fresh Parmesan and red pepper.

Luke Bryan
I can't stop listening. ALWAYS on repeat on my ipod. Concert AND new album next month. "I can't even talk to you right now... The new Luke Bryan album is on itunes!" I maybe said that to my boss.

Noosa Yoghurt
Seriously, it is so expensive but try it. You will never be the same again. The strawberry rhubarb is my favorite.

Gmail
HATING on the new format. How is with me? Is it just me or should one of the categories be reference? You know, a folder I can save my recipes and pictures people have email to me? None of that fits into the 4 given categories. Google! I want to make my own flippin category!

Mormon Memes

Oh my goodness I want to have this as my screen saver. It makes me laugh out loud every time I look at it! 

I'm dying! Look at his face! 

 SERIOUSLY!

 Where do people come up with this stuff?

The head... in the bed... It kills me!

OK. I'm done now.

Sharknado V. Pacific Rim

Last night I left Dave's house early and was heading home to do some laundry, watch some well earned television, and go to bed early. The Lord had other plans for me. So did the Woods Cross City police department. But that is a story for another time.

In the middle of "Traumatic" experience my phone rang. It was Kyle. It was extra funny because his ring tone is a "DUN DUN DUN" kind of tone. Oh so accurate for the situation I was in. I couldn't help but laugh. I think it actually helped my situation.

Anyway... Kyle wanted to go to a movie. He gave me a list of options. Then after I picked one he picked a different one and we went to see Pacific Rim.

I have seen movies in 3D before and thought "meh." This movie was AMAZING in the 3D department. But oh the cheesiness. I could not take another moment of poorly written dialogue. This is one of the movies you see for action only. That is totally fair. But if you can't write a tender scene just leave it out. Don't make us all sit in the theater cringing from how awkward these scenes are.

Spoiler alert. At the end of the movie, the two pilots that you are supposed to have grown attached to but really you still don't care much about the fate of either, have just saved the world from the Kiju and are floating in a life raft in the middle of the ocean... This is intense guys... They lean in and... nothing. That is the end of the movie. You save the world, and with all that adrenaline pumping through your system you don't even kiss her face off? Seriously. Why even save the world?

While watching this movie I couldn't help but compare it to a movie Dave and I had seen a few weeks ago. Have you heard of Sharknado? It's on the Syfy channel. Go DVR it right now and plan a movie night, you will not be disappointed. I promise.

Warning. This movie is bloody. But in an almost comical way. You are going to want to pay close attention so you don't miss the part where one of the main characters falls out of a helicopter and is swallowed mid air by a shark. Only a moment later another shark comes after our other female lead and her father fires up his chainsaw and jumps INTO the shark to save her. You will want to watch the rest of the clip so you can see how this movie ends. It is incredible I promise!

But at the end of this movie after he has saved the world and his daughter. He is COVERED is shark blood and guts he gets a kiss from his ex-wife. That kiss made Dave gag and so I made sure to find a clip that included it for your viewing pleasure.

We discussed in depth whether there would ever be a time in life where your significant other might be covered in blood and you wouldn't be able to wait a couple of minutes for them to get cleaned up. We couldn't come up with one. While watching the movie one of those little blurbs popped up showing fun tweets about the movie and one said something along the lines of "will people start putting 'I would chainsaw myself out of a shark for you' into their wedding vows?"

I would like to add to the list... True love means never sharing a bloody entrails kiss. But to be fair at least in this movie someone actually felt some perceivable emotions after saving the world.

But Seriously... Thanks!

To all the men I have dated... and "dated." That's right, I mean you. 

I am so grateful for you. That's right all of you. I have been thinking lately of how truly blessed I've been.

Thank you for respecting me. I hate when you send me home at 11 because I just want to stay with your arms around me. Thank you for putting that aside so we can both be functional for work in the morning.

I am not the only one who is grateful that you never pushed the line. Thanks for treating me like a daughter of God. I don't have to tell you I like kissing, you know I do, but respect is sexy. Thank you for never asking me to compromise OUR standards. It made me feel safe with you, and that's another very attractive trait.

Thank you for truly knowing me. The ins and outs, highs and lows... the details. For seeing me at my worst and loving me anyway. 

Thank you for making me laugh.

Thanks for all the dates at Formosa when you'd have rather eaten about anywhere else.

Thank you for being honest with me. I never had to wonder what I meant to you. I never had to feel insecure.

Thank you for loving my family. For chatting with mom, for playing with the babes. They really like you guys.

Thank you for sharing your families. I love how easily they open their hearts and homes to me and made me feel like one of them. I can't tell you how much that has meant to me over the years.

Some of you had big secrets, things maybe you hadn't even admitted to yourself. But you were honest with me. You trusted me with your secret and your heart. We loved each other through it. I hope you are stronger for it and know how much I love you.

Thank you for reminding me even now that you love me and that I'm beautiful. That I am worth it. 

Thank you for loving me through the hardest times of my life, when I was a little crazy and didn't always have the strength to love you back the way you deserved. I appreciate your patience.

I could not have asked for better men in my life. The Lord has truly blessed me. 

A Serious Crush

On my trip to Flaming Gorge this weekend...

I met someone.

Ah! 

Should I add them on facebook?

Should I wait and see if they add me?

Is it too soon to call?

I wonder if they like me.

Was I cool enough?

Funny enough?

Come across too irritating?

Was I too clingy?

AHHH!

I totally have a GIRL crush. I met this girl and I just feel like we were meant to be best friends. But seriously... is it too soon to call?

Jaws

I went to Flaming Gorge this weekend. We were rafting the river and meeting so many new people that I couldn't remember anyone's name. A quick name game was suggested.

"I'm Annie Hall. My name is a famous movie that beat Star Wars for best picture!"

"Your name is Jaws?"

"Well played David Oaks, well played..."

I will long remember your name.

1,2,3

I'm finally presented with the possibility of getting something I've always wanted, something I used to pray for every night.

Yet, as I drive home I feel a horrible panic, a weight on my chest. I tell Heavenly Father never mind and he laughs. I want something different now. I'm sorry.

Are you giving me this opportunity to help me realize what I truly want, so I more fully appreciate it when it happens? Or are you showing me that I always ask for foolish things and you just need me to trust you. "I've got this." He tells me. The weight lifts just a little and I start counting. Just a few more minutes.. 1,2,3 and I'll be home. Once I'm there it will be okay to have a break down... 1,2,3.

"Baby girl, I've got this. Please trust me..."

OK.

It's All the Same

That feeling you get when:

• You are waiting for your crush to pick you up for your first date.
• Speeding and you pass a Police car and he turns his lights on.
• You have to break up with someone. 
• Asking your boss for a raise.
• Bearing your testimony.

It's really all the same.

And I had to do all but one this week.

Meet Chaps

Setting: Break Room, Annie is reading Sports Illustrated, everyone else is talking quietly.

Annie: Did you read this article about the 5k fad? Do you know there is an Elvis Rock N' Roll Marathon in Vegas each year and everyone dresses up li.... (Closes the magazine and glances at the back cover) Holy Crap! Yes please! I'll take two. Look at this delicious sailor man. He needs to live in my office.

JS: Annie you are such a pervert! Why do men get such a bad reputation for oggling women? You girls are just as bad, if not worse!

Annie: This man is fully clothed! and sexy... He could easily be a priesthood holder!

JT: Right, you want him in your office because he looks so righteous.

Annie: Yes, When I stare into his eyes they say back to me "Save me a spot in Sacrament meeting ok? I have to go help with the Sacrament."

JS: That isn't what they say to me!

Annie: No to you they would say "Bless or Pass?" And you would not be able to say no.

JT: "Would you like a diet coke?"

Annie: Yes! He would say things just like that. You can see his true nature!

U: She really like dis man. Him or "the 9:30 cowboy" better?

Annie: My Cowboy!

U: Him or Hrithik (My favorite Bollywood actor)?

Annie: I don't like this game...

This lovely picture is now up in my office. Next to a picture of the 9:30 Cowboy... His name is Chaps.

Thanks boys! I love him!

Happy B-Day Zacula

I was texting Zac last night.

Me: I think people are sick of hearing about how much I love you.

Zac: I think you are sick of not seeing me.

Me: Well I am just an amazing friend who loves you anyway.

I thought about this birthday post for a few weeks now. I thought of posting "Our song." The one he sang to me the first time we went out together. I was so nervous. I so desperately wanted to be his friend and I was so sure I wasn't good enough. Not funny enough, not pretty enough, not smart enough.

I thought of posting our favorite Mika song that we sing at the top of our lungs and when someone asks us if we think Mika might possibly be homosexual we both say "FLAMING" and keep on singing.

I thought about posting the song he played for me after he chased me down in the Borders parking lot after our first fight.

"I could never leave you, you know I never could

Even though you drive me crazy, even though you know I should

You flirt with all the ladies, you flirt with all the boys

You flirt with my grandmother, do you hear me making noise?"

But really all I think when I think of my friend is that I am just constantly in awe of the fact that he does love me, and so grateful that I know it and never have to doubt it. He, more than just about anyone, knows exactly who I am. For some reason he doesn't just love me inspite of my many defects, but loves the defects too. 

Love means never licking an orange peel covered in honey while playing CandyLand in a zippered sweater... (Or any of those things separately)...  and I love you 18! I can't wait to see you this weekend! 

Totes

Me: There are  4 words I really really hate in our language.
J: What are they?
M: No, no. I told them all to Zac once and he found a way to use them all in a sentence. Then told a bunch of other people to frequently use those words around me. It's how he shows his love, we are very close you see.
J: Well I hate the word totes.
M: Like that you store Christmas decor in?
J: No, like I totes want to go get carne asada fries right now.
A: So it means totally?
J: Yeah, like when people say presh. I hate that too.
A: Wait I might say presh... Let me consider this.... No I don't think I do. But who even says totes? That's crazy talk!
J: My friends from Jersey!
A: Well then I TOTES need to be saying it!!!!
J: Are you kidding me right now?
A: Totes not kidding....

Cameran

I almost missed a birthday post. Geez. But to be fair I was in Vegas then she was in Florida so we didn't get to connect for a happy birthday in stretchy pants party until last weekend.

We are planning our fishing/camping trip for next week and she suggested that I look at her Pinterest board. Well she actually told me to look at her interest board, but I knew what she meant.

Before I clicked on the board for all things outdoors, I clicked on her board marked awesome and realized why she is my bestie.

A quick sampling:

 The shore speaks to my soul too.

 Seriously? Yes Please!

 Oh Gil...

 We both love our stretchy pants.

 Let's talk about it while we knit and watch Gilbert.

 This needs to be in my kitchen.

 Don't be too hard on yourself. Let's talk about it while we fish.

Can you see why I like her? Just saying.

Welcome to 30... So far it hasn't been so bad.

Real Crisis

9:04 am 
J: Annie isn't it a little early for a Diet Coke?
A: I've had a rough morning!
J: Why?
A: My phone is broken and I can't text Zac!
J: Wait.... Umm... Are you going to cry?
A: You better believe it!

12:37 pm
*My day got worse. So bad in fact that my boss was hugging me while I cried a little. I suppose I am being taught what crisis really looks like. I have to be better about keeping things in perspective. I hate having to learn and relearn this lesson.

Vegas

Sometimes you need a little escape.

A time to not worry about even one little thing.

My Megs was heading to Vegas for a conference and asked if I wanted to come along. “Hotel is paid for” she told me. All I had to do was get there.

I have been to Vegas a ton now. It is only a 5 hour (or so) drive and it is warm and wonderful. So it wasn't exactly a new adventure, but it was..

I arrived there Saturday afternoon just in time to pick her up from the airport. We headed straight out to Fremont Street to eat at my favorite Vegas dive, The Kabob Korner. So delicious I can barely handle it. Then a trip across the street to my favorite Vegas dollar store, where we stock up on all kinds of horribly tacky costume jewelry. Like really seriously tacky. Then onto Fremont street to people watch, and dance.

The great thing about Vegas, and the worst, is that no one has any inhibitions. I love dancing on Fremont because it doesn't matter how silly you look, someone will look sillier. And maybe you will look up and realize that an attractive cowboy is videoing your entire Britney routine. Yikes! But it is okay because he also got the little old lady in a pink sweat suit totally getting into the Justin Timberlake cover.

We shared our floor of the hotel/casino with a French Tourist Group. One evening we also shared the pool. This is apparently how the French enjoy 95 degree evenings.

 
We found a 7-11 off strip with normal people prices so we could meet Megs’ late night slurpee needs on a daily basis and next door was this establishment.

Now we all know what that sign means right? 179 dollars and you can move in. But for some reason I was confused. I thought it said 179 moves (like dance moves), You in? (like are you going to join the dance party?) Megan laughed at me for a awhile. But I mean it is Vegas, so I feel like my interpretation works too.

I spent literally all day at the pool reading. Don’t worry I brought sunscreen. I finished two books and listened to lots of interesting podcasts. Megs and I helped a very large, scary, man look for his kitty in the casino parking lot. Me made fun of her friend Scott a lot, we Laughed A LOT. 

Once Megan was done at class she would meet me by the pool for a quick nap and then we would look through our Vegas magazine to find somewhere fun and exciting for dinner. We had a toffee pudding at an Irish Pub that was the greatest dessert I have had so far in my life.

Seriously ask Megan! Except that this picture is her eating bread pudding at the buffet at our hotel. 

Oh and did I tell you about the time my car was stolen in Vegas? False alarm but a great story you should ask us about. Oh my. I have learned that Megan is a really great travel companion. She is super relaxed, goes with the flow, is up for anything or nothing, and laughs when you are sure your car was stolen. 

Thanks Megan! I miss you already.