Why are people dumb?

So I am finally leaving installed sales. I am going back out to the floor (specifically in Paint and Home Decor). Before I leave I would like to share an experience I had today in my office.

We remodeled this guys kitchen like a year ago and he called me today because his faucet is leaking and he is sure it is because my installer broke it during installation. Have they not used the sink in a year? Plus when I look into it further they bought the cheapest brand of faucet we sell and the associate made note in their file that he had recommended a more reliable brand.

Anyway the customer is always right so I offer to replace their old facet with one that has a guarantee and have my installer go back out and put it in.

So I think we are making progress and then he starts yelling...

"The snake! the snake! What are they doing about it? What if it goes in the street! Then what will you do for me! I told you it was going to be a problem! I told you. AH THE SNAKE! I want this! But not the snake and don't drive over here!"

Umm.... Ok.... I said I'd see what I could do and I hung up.



Katy had surgery this morning and I went with her because she was really scared. Anyway the doctor told me not to watch because it would be really bloody, but it was like watching a car accident, I couldn't look away. It was really bloody and kinda spooky to see the gaping hole in her body but what FREAKED me out were the sounds. Yikes! I still can't get the sound of the cutting and the scraping, and the snipping out of my head. Then I watched them stitch up the gaping hole and that really freaked me out too. I mean it just seems weird to be sewing up holes in someones body! The good news is I stole an amazing recipe for a cilantro pesto out of a magazine in the lobby. Really the only thing I "Stole" was the birth control ad I wrote it down on.


Friendship points... redeemable for cash if I ever marry money.

Some friends come and go and seem to be there for a specific purpose, that once it is fulfilled, fade off. I have had a few friends who have survived it all. For them I will forever be thankful.

Rosalee~ You were the very first person I called after my mom died. And you were there within minutes and you took care of everything. I will love you forever for that and increase your friendship points. You took me with you to Colorado on that hockey trip. We survived the gophers and the squished knees, and you even spent an evening alone with "burped up Italian" so that I could be alone with Teddy for the night. For that I award you more friendship points. You were there for a DI or Formosa run or just a long walk whenever living alone got to be too much for me. For that you are the proud owner of even more friendship points. Think about moving up here. I'm not kidding you, you'll love it!

Linds~ If I talk anymore about you people will think I am a "laser beam." but for knowing what that means, friendship points. Add it to the pile, I'm expecting that you'll cash in some day.

Steph~ For surviving Quiznos together, friendship points. For surviving Lowe's together friendship points. For surviving living together you are gonna need a TON of friendship points. For saying a prayer for me on my door step the night my mom died friendship points. For sharing your mom, your granny, and your adorable Asian cousins, friendship points.

Zac~ I will love you 18 for the rest of my life. For all the closet time you offered, friendship points. For all the times I sat in your office crying while they constantly paged for me overhead, friendship points. For loving me even though you are SOOO much hotter than me, friendship points. For not hating me too much for saying it, friendship points. For understanding me in a way no one else does and loving me anyway, friendship points. Because my baby sister not only likes you but flirts with you, friendship points. For all my 8am wake up calls and pillow talk, friendship points. For all the people watching over a rockstar and potato babies, friendship points. For sabotaging my department after I left, friendship points.

Kristen~ For putting up with so so many crushes and long nights of giggling, including the small crush I had on your brother, friendship points. For letting me take the lead in the play even though I sucked at it, friendship points. For still being in semi-close contact after all these years, friendship points. For being my friend even through the dreaded beehive years, friendship points. For crying harder than I cried when I called you the day mom died, friendship points.

David~ For being one of the strongest people I know, and wanting to have the ability to change my life as dramatically as you have, friendship points. For forgiving me quickly and when I'm not sure I deserve it, friendship points. For appearing out of nowhere, and seeking out our friendship just when I needed you, friendship points.


Good Luck Linds.

I was driving home the other day, it was the last time I was able to see Lindsay for awhile as she had plans to move to Seattle a few days later. I started wondering how me and Lindsay are so different and yet I really don't know what I would have done without her. I know for one I would not have learned to embrace my scandalousness in quite the same way. However, she is also a great example to me of how to live the gospel. It's all about balance.

I have some great memories of Linds and our time in Logan that I will never forget.

The summer of the cousins

That night in the backyard with Dewey and Rose.

Crazy roommates

The "laser beams"

"Easy but righteous"

Bra shopping

The summer of the J-lo's

Watching Bring It On with Lavell


Mario Kart

Breaking the Hammock

Never being a "Janice"

"Stake dances" in the back yard

I'm sure there is a ton more that I am missing...

Linds~ I love this picture of us. You can tell you just said something naughty and to me that makes this a picture that perfectly captures us. We seem to keep moving a little farther away from each other, and even though we don't see each other that much anymore I miss you already.


I lost a small piece of myself today...

I cut, what I would call a sizable chunk, out of my hand today at work with a carpet knife. I tried to ignore it for a bit while I tried to finish cutting a piece of carpet to put under my desk. Unfortunately it is light colored carpet and the amount of blood was starting to give the carpet a pattern I hadn't originally bargained for.

This dilemma lead me to the front where the first aid kit is. There were two members of senior management sitting there and I calmly said to them

"Nobody panic, I'm going just going to grab a bandaid."

No response....

"Seriously guys. I don't want anyone making a big deal about this."

No response...

"Ok guys, I appreciate the concern but it's really ok I just need to get a band aid and I'll be on my way."

No response...

"Does anyone know if there is anything in here to clean out a gapping wound?"

No response...

"Listen, if someone will just help me find an alcohol swab or something so I can get the HIV out of what's left of my hand that would be great."

One of them finally starts giggling... That was it.

I don't want anyone to worry though. I think I just might be ok.


I still don't feel like I'm asking for too much.

*The Priesthood (I don't care how bad that sounds, it's true)

*Kids like him (They are the best judge of character)

*A positive outlook and general happy demeanor (a naughty smile is a plus)

*He's a man, I'm a woman, there is a difference, and he respects that.

*Kind to everyone (there is never a reason to be rude)

*Knowing my details

*It's cliche but he has to make me smile(boring is... well boring) and along with it....

*The ability to have a real conversation about life or the gospel.

Not so much:

*Don't EVER sush me!

*A casual attitude toward the gospel

*Worldliness (There are more important things than things, I promise)

*A closed mind.(Not willing to try new things)

*You don't always have to be talking, quiet time is important too.

*Not having time for me when I really need it. (You can ask previous boyfriends, I'm super low maintenance, so when I ask... it's important)


Pedophiles and diet coke... The long road home

Well this morning my dad drove us to the airport in Omaha, three hours away. We started late because well it is hard to get all of us out the door on time. Then instead of driving to the freeway he drove into town. Which is normally fine but when you are trying to make a flight being behind a tractor is no fun. Almost to the airport running a half hour late, and my baby sister starts throwing up, EGGS! Yikes I am such a sympathetic vomiter and after three hours in the back of the car I was close anyway.

So fast forward, my Utah license is expired so I have to go through EVERY extra security measure that has ever been invented. Then on the flight to Denver that was delayed we are seated next to scary larry from pedophile central who is taking up his seat and katy's. He is rubbing his leg against her and she is laughing uncontrollably to try and cover the awkwardness of it all but really only increasing it. I wasn't 100% sure what was going on so I kept staring at him to figure out what was making katy laugh so hard. I am sure he was thinking "what is that girls freaking problem."

Anyway we made it to Denver and no worries about making our connecting flight since the flight was all kinds of delayed. On that flight I got to sit next to miss, I'm 45 and trying to look 16. She was bright orange, her hair was HUGE and her heels were... well they were. Anyway half way through the flight she hands me her copy of US Weekly and says "here honey it looks like you could use this." Umm What is that suppose to mean?

My sister's BFF picked us up from the airport and took me to pick up my car at my stepmom's parents house in West Valley. I started Sanchez (my car) up and was scraping the window while my sister got in the car to grab her ipod adapter and proceeded to lock the door. So now I am sitting there with everything locked in my running car in West Valley and no one is home at the house so we finally decided to call a lock smith. While we are waiting a huge molester van kept circling the block really slow. SCARY! I was praying it wasn't the lock smith.

He came, eventually, in a normal looking honda civic and opened my door... with a coat hanger. I was on my way. I want to say that I am grateful for good friends who called and found us a locksmith and mostly for lindsay who made sure I had all the diet coke, I needed upon my arrival at her home. Which oh let's not leave this out, I missed her exit, TWICE!

As adventurous as today has been it was all fixed by Linds, a diet coke, and a good long inappropriate conversation over dinner. So it's midnight and woops we missed it. Much too busy sitting on Linds' bed blogging and downing diet coke. So diet coke's up, here is to a new year, maybe next year I'll spend it in bed with a man.