So today when I left work to grab a burrito... (I honestly needed one more than I really needed air at that point) ... The wind hit me and I was instantly homesick. Not the kind of homesick where you can call home or visit and feel better. I realized that was I was really homesick for was a long talk with my mom.

At first when we lost her what surprised me most was how easily life went back to being "normal" without her. I felt guilty all the time that an entire day would go by and I hadn't thought about her. I would feel awful that I had gone out with friends and had a good time. I felt like I was a bad daughter or something or that I was simply moving on too soon. Today, I caught myself feeling guilty that I think about her too much.

We are only weeks away from the 4 year mark. Holy crap some days it feels like she was almost never there. Other days it stings way down in the most tender part of who you are and you have to stop and catch your breath.

There are just things I want to tell her. Not even important things. Things I want her to be excited about like how much I love the paint in my new house, or that I get to get a puppy, or that I found the perfect pair of pants at the store the other day and they were on sale! I want her to listen to the new sugarland CD. I know she would totally heart it. I wonder how she would screw up the lyrics. Because she would and she would do it loud and without shame.

I know she watches us and is proud of us but I want to talk to her about how happy it makes me that Jake is doing so well on his mission. I want her to help me tease Jarom about how many of the ladies love him. I want her to be awed with me at how fast her baby boy is growing up. I want her to give me a hard time about not being married. I know she loves my friends but I want to talk to her about them. I want her to be able to tease them like she did all my friends before. I want them to have the opportunity to know and love her like others have. I wasn't always a fan of how my friends seemed to like her better than me (even boyfriends) but I wish she was here to do it now.

I miss you mom. I can't wait for the good times to come on the other side. For me it will be a lifetime before we get to hang out and make each other laugh, for you it will be an instant. For both of us it will be before we know it!


My Yearbook... If only!

I found this on my friend Hayley's Blog! I played with it all night and can not stop laughing. Everyone should try this! Let's be honest none of you are immune from me trying it on a picture of you.

Let's start with the ancient of days...


1960 wasn't so bad

1966 wasn't bad either. I could have survived...

This is what I would have looked like had I gone to High school with my dad.

If I had graduated the year I was born (1982)I look like my mom is this one... and a few others. Sorry mom!

And the year my sister was born (1984)

O.K. But I am obviously hotter than hot in this one. I mean it! Saturday's Warrior anyone?

Ummm... I did graduate in 2001 and I do not remember looking at all like this! It is seriously like the worst one!

HA HA HA O.K. Go play with it right now with a picture of yourself and please please post some of them so I can laugh some more!


Naked Cowboy

This morning when I left for work at 5 am I hear the "ktchhh" of an opening can. I turn around and there is my neighbor on his porch. He is 100% Naked except for a cowboy hat, and his beer.

I sent a mass text to all my friends later. My favorite response was from Linds, "This is why you always carry a camera!"



My friend "Snubs" came up to see me and Katy yesterday. He dropped into FHE for a few minutes and then I took him to dinner. Later that night we were hanging out and reading through my quote book. There were some great old quotes in there that brought back a ton of good memories for us.

"Listen Snubs! I am not trying to be sensual. I am just trying to eat this Jell-O salad!" ~Me
I still don't know what he thought I was trying to do...

"So what you are saying is this stuff is basically makeout in a bottle?" ~Snubs
"I don't want makeout in a bottle! I want to makeout on my couch!"~Me
"Sorry Annie we both know that's not going to happen anytime soon." ~Snubs
He is so kind to me. I'm glad we are friends.

"I was actually considering just throwing you to the floor." ~Snubs
He was talking about doing that in order to be the first one to the Oreo cheesecake I had made but that isn't what it sounded like when my roommate overheard us.

"You new nickname is DISAPPOINTMENT!" ~My Roommate to Snubs

After coming home from meeting our friends new girlfriend...
"She is O.K. I guess... Except for she has no looks and no personality." ~Snubs

Once really late at night...
"I was at the place... What the heck is it called? You know it... We go there on Sundays..." ~Me
"You mean church?" ~Snubs
"YEAH that's it! Church!" ~Me

A friends response to another good friend asking us why he was planning on moving back to portland... "He's a pirate hooker remember?.. he has to be closer to the ocean."

My friend Lolly giving me advice on how to avoid having yet another platonic best friend "The next boy you meet who likes to kiss girls... He is your boyfriend! You can't afford to be picky anymore."

"I still have a hard time believing that he is gay... His boyfriend seems to think he is though.. so I guess that is the only conclusion I can come to." ~Me

And finally this wouldn't be complete without his favorite quote. It is from my friend Lindsay who I also miss like crazy. "We need to pick out an outfit for your talk Annie, we need something that says easy... but righteous!"


Lessons Learned

So here is the story...

This week I went out to Battle Mountain, NV with my family for a little family togetherness. YES PLEASE!

Anyway we went out to Miller's Pit one afternoon to go cliff diving. We call this the scene of the crime.

Miller's Pit is an abandoned open pit mine. The cliffs we jump off are about 40ft high. The water is also about 40ft deep. Once you hit the water there is about a 6 inch shelf of rock that you have to clear.

I looked over the edge and was sure this was something I could do. I backed up and kinda had that feeling like right before you bear your testimony. So I made a run for it. At the last moment I totally panicked.

I almost went over the edge like this and really would have died. I decided I couldn't jump. Then my sister went off, then my 16 year old bro went, then... that feeling came back and I just went for it.

Again I panicked but it was too late this time. Sooo off I went. Typically there are two options you dive... or you jump. I did neither. I looked more like this.

Uncle pete, pictured above, straightens out. I, however, did not. I hit just like this, face and belly flop. My face, eyes, and chest hurt so bad! My Uncle Pete was freaking out and was sure I had died so he sent my brother down after me to see if I was alive. I was still only aware that my face hurt and I was actually having fun goofing off in the water. I even climbed up the rope back to the top with out too much concern for my body.

It was only when I got to the top that I realized I was bleeding a little.

Here is a close up we took while deciding if we should go to a doctor.

So we decided that it would probably be best if we went to see a doctor. So my dad took me in. I was trying to fill out my paperwork and the adrenaline started to wear off and it started to hurt I was shaking so bad I couldn't form even one letter on the paper. So while my stepmom finished filling out the paperwork two ladies walked in with basically no clothes on. I turned to my dad and was like, "How do people think they can dress like that in public? It isn't that hot outside." It was only when I overheard the nurse ask if any more of the ladies were coming in for testing today that I realized that they were hookers from Donna's Ranch. HA HA The sign out front says it is the place where the wild west still lives!

Okay I'll wrap it up now. So the doctor comes in and tells me that he isn't very drunk any more. The thing that hurt the most was the stupid shot. I made my dad hold my hand. He was sweet but I could have really used my mom. That is just really a mom job. Oh the doctor also made fun of me for being 25 and still needing to bring my daddy in with me.

The moral of the story.
*Don't hesitate. Once your mind is made up you just need to go for it. Don't hesitate at the edge even for a second.
*You are never too old to need your daddy or your mommy.
*Hookers are not hot!
*Drunk doctors are only funny when you are not the one bleeding all over the place.

Total injuries:
*A little road rash or cliff rash in this case
*Four stiches
*Sprained ankle
*An entirely bruised body
*Even my eyes are brusied. That is an interesting sensation.
*Fluid drained from the sack the my kneecap floats in. Also an interesting and painful sensation.


My favorite Charlies...

I think this is hilarious! Thanks to Zac and his family for introducing me...

HA HA HA "and that really hurt Charlie!" This video always makes me laugh!

I actually like this one, the second one, better. We are going to hope that zac doesn't see that I have posted this because if he asks I still absolutely hate this stupid video. "Put a ripe banana right into your favorite ear!"