Do you ever have those days when you swear that your I-Pod not only knows exactly what to play but that it just might be the only person who understands you?

Man I'm not kidding when I say mine knows me better than I know myself.

I thought Pandora would be my second love. Especially now that I sit at a desk all day. But when I type in Alison Krauss and it plays Pat Benetar and Paula Abdul I have to wonder. Pat and Paula are both enjoyable, don't get me wrong, but it is suppose to be playing artist similar to Alison Krauss. I also hate that I can get up and leave the office for a few minutes and come back to something horribly inappropriate blaring from my office. Pandora Loses.

Back to my ever trusty I-Pod. How I have missed you.


The Life Cleanse

 I recently came across the idea of putting my life on a diet. It was actually the title of a book I saw in the warehouse of a publisher a friend of mine works for. The book I hear is extreme, I'm not going to live with no electricity for a year of my own free will and choice. But there are parts of my life that need a diet.

Last weekend I went through my closet and got rid of 2/3 of my clothes. I started by getting rid of all the clothes I keep hoping will fit again someday. Then I got rid of all the clothes that I keep thinking if I put through the wash enough times the stain will go away. Then I got rid of anything that really isn't in style anymore no matter how badly I want it to be. Then I tossed anything that I haven't worn in a year. Then I went through my collection of purses, shoes, etc. This weekend I will be going through books, random boxes from college, etc. I am loading it up in a friends truck, because a truck will be needed and it's off to the DI.

Know what? In the week the I have been minus all of these things. I have actually been happier. I thought I might miss some of my shoes, purses, clothes etc. But I haven't thought about them once.


I Want To Be A Gypsy

I was on the phone the other day with one of our reps. He is quite the chatter but I don't mind because the stories he tells me are ones I find fascinating. This time he was telling me that he has a hippy friend and I was entranced by the stories that followed. Unfortunately in order to be a hippy you have to have a rich relative supporting you, which he confirmed, his friend in 65 and still gets weekly checks from his mother. So I suppose I will never be one.

I hung up the phone and my mind went back to last week when I felt maligned because I was described as whimsical and unpredictable.  I realized I  am and I love it. I love living as close to a nomadic life as I can. Hippy is the wrong word for me because I like to shower, I don't have strong feelings about war, and I don't do drugs etc. Maybe a gypsy. I love to pick up and go at a moments notice. I love to head off to nowhere in particular and discover and explore a few nowheres as I find them. I love to have no plan. I love to change plans mid plans. I love the unexpected. I love to move to new places and find a new home. I love to try new foods, and meet new people, and experience new cultures. I crave adventure.

That is just me. I may be here one hour and on my way to Vegas the next. I buy tickets to faraway places at a moments notice with no money left in my account. I love to sign up for crazy classes like Thai cooking, or oil painting, or Macrame. I love midnight runs to Del Taco, and 5 star dining at it's finest. That is just me. Friendship with me means adventure. It means laughter. It means frequently wondering what the? It means barefoot hiking, it means good food. it means rolling your eyes, it means praying I am safe, it means wishing I had health insurance.

Is my goal to have a home and family someday? Yes! Would I love to settle down in some adorable small town somewhere? Yes! Have a tire swing in the front yard? Sure. Am I excited to be tied down by a bunch of kids with runny noses? Yes Please! Do I want a minivan with melted crayons on the back seat and stale french fries in the cup holders. ABSOLUTLY. And when the time comes I expect that these qualities will not hinder my ability to be a good wife and mother but enhance them.


Confession Tuesday

 Okay I am behind on confessing. So here we go. I hate pumping gas. I HATE IT. In Jersey I never had to, in fact it is against the law. So I moved out here to Utah and my freshman year I always had boys with me and they always did it for me. I eventually learned, but for most of my time in school I only had a few dollars for gas so I spent two dollars and was done. Now that I can afford to fill the entire tank I NEVER do. Because it feels like it takes FOREVER! The best part about it though is that if I only put 5 dollars in and see cheaper gas a block away I can put in 5 more.


1000 Memories and 6 years

I have been insanely happy lately. It's true. Typically today is a hard day for me. It is hard because I know it is THE day. The day my life changed forever. I struggle because throughout the day I imagine the accident. I imagine her hurting, I am imagine her being scared. I imagine her being stubborn and refusing to go. I remember what it sounds like to hear "There was an accident." I remember what 5 missed calls from home means. I remember, Imagine, and I kinda fall apart. A dear friend recently told me that the reason loss is hard is because we know what could have been and we are not only robbed of them in that moment but also robbed of a future  that no longer exists.

This year I didn't even realize the day was approaching until someone else mentioned it. Ironically I had just created this website for my mom because my Logan boy was only 6 when mom passed away. It breaks my heart that he doesn't remember her. But more importantly it is breaking his. He was robbed of so many more futures that I was. I asked for contributions from friends and family and I myself have added a story and will add many more.

Many of you have already contributed and I am indebted to you. One friend contributed this, that may have been submitted for Logan and others but was meant for me: "I got a phone call one morning asking if I knew of a Cindy Hall. I told her yes. She said she just heard that she was in an accident. I raced over to the hospital to see if there was something I could do for her. I raced into the hospital asking to see her, leaving the babies in the van with it running. "No Cindy Hall Admitted Here". I was driving over to Debbie's when I saw a Deputy at the emergency exit. I parked in the middle of the street and ran over to the Officer asking about Cindy. He just hugged me as he caught me when he said......"She's gone!!!!!" NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
I got to the van.... I cannot believe Cindy talked to me, on the radio was the song from Mercy Me....I can only imagine! Tears rushed down my face as it is now. She was HAPPY, FREE, LOVED, and in front of our Savior! I wanted to be standing or kneeling or singing right next to her. I was angry with her that She was in HEAVEN! Then My thoughts went to her children, to Logan, the "baby". My heart cried for them!
To the Hall Kids! She loved you! She Loves You. She does MORE for you in Heaven then she ever could physically for you on the earth! What a great blessing that is to all of you!"

What a blessing. How in the world can it be a blessing that I have no mom? How can it be a blessing that Logan will never know his mom in this life? Let me tell you. I am blessed to have a certain knowledge through sacred experiences that families are forever. I am blessed as Shanon said to have a mom who can do more for us from the other side. I am blessed to have a mom who can continually look over me. I am blessed to have a mom that looks over my friends, again experiences too sacred to detail here. I am blessed by two of the most precious new siblings a girl could ask for, whom I love more than words can express, and they are mine for eternity. I have been blessed with a friendship with my stepmom that is literally a sealed friendship. I am blessed by a myriad of new experiences that have taught me self reflection, better communication, selflessness, humility, and the ability to apologize. I am blessed by the increase in my reliance and love of my Savior. I have been blessed by my ability to empathize and thus bless others.

I have been blessed. Yesterday I listened numerous times to the song referenced in our friends experience. My mom calmed her heart with this song and today my heart has also been calmed by it. How amazing it would be to be held by The Savior. How amazing to learn at his feet. To not only be surround by friends and family you met in this life but many more you loved just as strongly before.

To my mom, I miss you, but more than anything today I am jealous of you. I can hardly wait until we meet again.

To readers: If you have a thought, memory, story, picture, etc. Even a story I told you please contribute. You can log into the site with your Facebook account. Or you can simply email me and I will post it for you. (anniehall263@gmail.com)


Here Comes The Sun!

I was recently reviewed in a blog:

"She is a social individual, more whimsical in her personality, impersonal to me and un-predictable."

At first I was very hurt and very sad. Because they had posted it where all my friends and family could see their opinion of me. I was sad because it was used as an introduction to me, and I had hoped that if someone was describing who I am that they would do a better job. I was VERY VERY sad.

But the more I thought about it and even cried a little, the more I was sad for THEM. Because if this is how they see me then they simply don't know me. Because I really am pretty fantastic. I am generous to a fault. I can make anyone laugh. I am determined and dedicated. I am fiercely loyal and I am wise beyond my years. I am caring and nurturing. I am fearless. I am insanely creative, and resourceful. And these aren't just my opinions these are things friends and leaders have recently told me that they admire about me.Whether at work, church, home, or with friends, I brighten others lives.

So it is okay if this is the best description one person came up with. People who know me would say otherwise. I have realized that anyone who reads this "review" won't think negatively about me. In fact I have received numerous notes and messages as a result of the review ensuring me that I am loved, and respected for who I am.  

Thanks to my friends out there who are over looking the bad and noting the good. Like I said in my previous post that was ironically posted before this incident. I know I am weak, Thanks for seeing past it. I learned a trick in institute that I have treasured. Ask the Lord to introduce you to someone. He will show you who they really are. In the mean time here are a few other reviews you might enjoy:

"She is the only person I know who took the time to get to know the real me, inside and out. She was the first person I felt knew me completely and loved EVERY part of me. With her I am safe."

"She taught me how to love. Even to this day I can't think about or talk to her without a huge grin on my face. She knows me better then a lot of people and it's because she took the time to invest in me."

"Reese if there is any validation to your concerns that someone doesn't like you. It is simply because they do not know you."

I wish you knew me. 

P.S. An Idea just came to me. These quotes mean the world to me and the negative one at the top had my world caving in around me. So.... I am going to write a quick little paragraph about everyone who has changed my life. I may even put them in a post. But be expecting one in your inbox soon. Because it is the people who love me who make me who I am, and I treasure your words of kindness.


I am Annie Hall

I am a girl.
I am possessive of my friends.
I forgive and forget so easily that I often let poisonous people back into my life.
I Run away from emotional pain and confront the possibility of physical pain head on.
I do really stupid things.
I speak before I think.
I cause drama.
I hate drama.
I am too critical of others.
I am often disappointed when I don't meet my own unreal expectations.
I see the best in others but too frequently discuss the worst.
I refuse to ask for help.
I say out loud what everyone else is thinking.
I think I am cute but wish I was beautiful.
I am fiercely protective of my friends and family.
I need people.
I need compliments.
I crave validation.
I can't stand the thought of even one person not liking me.
I am jealous when the men in my life spend time with other women, unless I'm dating them, then I don't care.
If I get a paper cut you will hear about it. If my leg falls off I'll ignore it.
I try on 12 different outfits in the morning before I get it right, and the wrong ones go on the floor.
I don't wear makeup everyday.
I fall in love with men who are unavailable, not married ones, unavailable in other ways.
I need quality time to feel loved.
I don't like chocolate.
I have too many purses.

I don't feel as though I am all that different from most girls. We are fooling ourselves if we think any of us are free from drama, hard days, hurt feelings, miscommunication, etc. Some come loaded with a lot more than others but we all have some. The question becomes, are there enough good things about me to outweigh the bad? I know some people who think so. I am so grateful today for those people in my life who over look the bad parts of Annie and see only the good. Because that is a quality I treasure and am striving to develop myself. Please bless it happens quickly.