Cool Ranch

Overheard at the Taylorsville Wal-Mart on Christmas Eve:

"Man grab da Cool Ranch! Ya know it ain't Christmas wit' out Cool Ranch!"


I am a mess, my daddy said it's so. Actually Aunt Elaine did too... on an unrelated note...

No it did not get caught in fredricks teeth! It got caught in the door at work. I don't even know how I managed to do what I did but it got caught and then I got mad and attempted to yank it out in a furry. By attempting to remove it in said furry I just twisted it all up and did some very temporary damage to the rest of my hand. Man I am a mess. Anway I wanted to cry but didn't want to spend money on the doctor. So I made myself feel better by going shoe shopping. I found two fabulous pairs of shoes and THEN looked after my mangled* hand.

*Friendship quiz time, let's see how well you know me!

When Annie says mangled what actually happened was:
A: She broke her finger in two to three places
B: It was a minor injury she forgot about an hour later
C: We don't know because she never went to the doctor
D: It was semi-serious but the stupid bandage got in the way while cooking and sewing so she took it off and doesn't care.

Happy birthday to me!

A couple of birthday posts that shouldn't be missed out on. Just in case you don't follow either of these fabulously hilarious ladies blogs.
Miss Lolly:
The boozer that I love
Happy Birthday to me!
Miss Linds:
Annie Hall

I just realized is that in this post Linds takes credit for teaching me to flirt.
Linds~ You are the greatest teacher of all time! I am not even kidding. I think at this point I may need some help dialing it back a little. I may have taken the concept and ran with it. I have actually been asked to give flirting lessons. I should give them your number. I could never hope to compare to the master. 


Now I'm a drunk

I was at dinner the other night with a friend and he ordered a glass of wine. The waiter asks if he wants a bottle or just a glass. My friend tells him just one glass. The waiter then looks at me and says, "Yeah it would appear she has had enough for the evening."

Sad day. I just like to laugh and it comes especially easy to me when I am with this friend. I am so glad we got together and even more excited that we are planning on making it a regular thing.


When did I become this girl, and how do I fix it?

I have been in a very bad mood the past few days. In the past two weeks I have not had one day without something huge, heartbreaking, or incredibly stressful happening to me. I am trying to deal with it all the best that I can but there is too much for it all to get the attention it needs. I honestly don't know if I will make it through the rest of the week

This morning I broke down:
Me: I need you to tell me you love me
Zac: I do, I really do... What's up?
Me: I am very stressed. You don't want the list.
Zac: I do
Me: What can I eat when I have an ulcer?
Zac: You are pretty cute
Me: I'm not! I am tired, whiny, grumpy, and hungry. I haven't eaten in days.
Zac: But you are still cute.
Me: And you love me remember?
Zac: Yes
Me: I am the only woman in your life right?
Zac: Well...
Me: You know I am a jealous woman... P.S. Who is that woman who keeps saying she loves you on facebook? I don't like her. Make her stop.
Zac: Remember when you used to freak out when certain people would hang out in my office for too long?
Me: Yeah I didn't like that either.
Zac: You are pretty cute
Me: No I am tired, whiny, grumpy, hungry, and the crazy jealous girl. Good thing we have worked past all that huh?

I know I forced it out of you this morning but thanks for understanding that sometimes I just need to be reminded that I am someone worth loving. It is also nice to talk to you knowing that you have seen me at my very very worst. In fact the very very worst of me has been directed at you and I can still force you to tell me you love me. I don't know what I'd do without it. You are one of the reasons I know Heavenly Father loves me.


Bitter and Venting

I love country music. I do. I love the new AND the old. I am not one bit ashamed that I have Johnny cash, Willie Nelson, George Jones, etc on my I-Pod. I love them all. I love the twang and it... well it loves me.

I grew up on country music. Katy and I would dance around the house to these songs all day long and they are a part of who I am. I am obsessed with it. It isn't just something I like or kind of prefer. I LOVE it, it is a huge part of who I am. That being said...

I can appreciate many types of music. I have a wide variety on my I-Pod. I have old rock, hard rock, classical, pop, punk, indie, local, hip-hop, even a couple of rap songs (thank you linds). I try to be open minded and when I have other people in my car I go out of my way to play music they will like.

What I don't understand is why people feel like it is okay to make fun of it? To ask me to turn it off? To call me a redneck or a hillbilly for listening to it? To sing along in a thick hick accent and think that it is funny? You may hate country but did it ever occur to you that I may hate what you are playing? Because I hate "music" that to me is just someone screaming to a drum beat, and I hate music where you can't understand what the heck they are even saying, and I hate music where the artist's voice is so airy and light that I feel like they are whispering. I, like everyone else, like music that speaks to me, music that stirs something inside of me, music that makes my heart feel better, music that pricks at fond memories, music that I can sing along to. For me that is country music.

I have been called closed minded many times for listening to country. But maybe just maybe you are closed minded for not being open to it. I love that it is a genre where we aren't afraid to talk about God, where we aren't afraid to be patriotic, where we sing about real things. Yeah we may sing about our dog, but I have one that was part of our family. That is real to me. And we may sing about our trucks, but boy do I feel closer to my mom when I am driving her jeep through the pasture. And yes we sing about break ups but isn't that the time in your life when you need validation the most?

Why is it that if I dislike your music as much as you do mine that it is still always yours that is playing? Anyway I think I am done venting now. I just hate that it seems socially acceptable to put down something I love so much. For those that are interested I have posted a playlist here on my blog. You have to hit play because I won't force my music on you. But give it a listen, they are my favorite songs, you may find something that you can tolerate.

P.S. Can I tell you how much extra I love my friend drew for playing some country on the way to lava? It was the first time someone has done that for me in ages and it meant a TON to me. 

In the clear, dang it

My hand is not broken..

You'd think I'd be happier about it right? Wrong! Listen to this:

Doctor: You'll be happy to hear I don't see a break on your x-ray. Probably just a bruised bone or a hairline crack I can't see on an x-ray.

Me: That's not fair. Do you know how many times a doctor has said that to me?

Doc: I'm not sure I follow...

Me: Look if I leave here with a story about a bruised bone I have all the pain and get none of the sympathy. Do you think you could wrap it up to go so I could get a little sympathy?

Doc: You tell them that a bruised bone hurts worse than a break.

Me: No one will believe me.

Doc: Do you want me to write you a note?

I am tired of having these conversations with doctors. Remember when I broke my finger the day of... or wait the day before mom's funeral? The doctor told me it was probably just a chip fracture, nothing he could do. Or the time I jumped off a cliff and landed on the cliff? The doctor said they were probably just hairline fractures, nothing they could do. Maybe the problem is that I feel like a failure. Everyone else can really break bones and I have never been completely succesful. Darn my mom for making me drink all that milk growing up.


Wanted: Tall, Blonde Surfer Who Plays the Guitar

I tell my guy friends all the time about "the list" I made when I was a beehive. I was a list of all the qualities I wanted in my husband. I laugh about it now because I realize how ridiculous it was. I remember that the list included the things from the title or this post. When I was home this last week I looked for my list. I didn't find the original beehive list but I did find a revised one. This list was only made a few years later so I was still in my yearly young womens years.

*Can see right through me
*Temple worthy LDS
*Wants lots of kids
*Enjoys the simple things
*Can laugh AT me and get away with it
*Has a steady income
*Tolerates country music
*Makes me want to be better
*Makes me laugh
*Loves his mommy
*Smiles a lot
*Loves his Heavenly Father
*Honors his priesthood
*Loves the scriptures
*Spoils me
*Is NOT perfect
*Will watch the sunsent with me
*Wears yummy sweaters
*Makes me feel good about myself

I was impressed. I have added a few things to this list over the years but it hasn't changed much. Where is he? Maybe he is out surfing somewhere, playing his guitar... Ha Ha Ha