What to do... What to do.

So I am starting to not enjoy my job more and more. Mostly because it just isn't at all challenging. But what do I do with my life now? Should I get a different job or should I go back to school? There is something so appealing to me in having an advanced degree. In fact I would love to have a Ph.D.

The options, for my program, are:

Idaho State
University of New Mexico
University of Denver
Colorado State University
University of Utah
University of Nebraska Omaha
Eastern New Mexico University
University of Nevada, Reno
La Salle
California State University

I would love to go home to Philadelphia but doing it alone is scary. The idea of moving somewhere Like California would be nice so that I NEVER have to scrape my windows in the cold ever again. university of Nebraska would be great because I would be closer to my family. Hmm... many things to ponder.


Friends I love, miss and wish I kept in better contact with...

In the spirit of my Valentine post i want to give a quick mention to a few other people who have blessed my life.

MYK~ I will never forget all of our "meetings" in the walk in. Remember the dead cat in the snow drift? I still have a picture of that. I will love you forever for that night at the train station when you held me and made sure I didn't look. Thanks for being a man.

PEET~ I thought you were too popular for me. I'm sorry I didn't seek out our friendship sooner. Thanks for loving me even though I am a Mormon girl and you are a naughty Catholic girl. I'm glad I was around to keep Mrs. Parent from eating you. P.S. Annie Hall leaves New York in the end.

Amber~ Remember the crush I had on Sterl? I miss our late night dance/karaoke parties with my hot pink guitar. I loved our late night "girl talks" and plotting to get Steph kissed. That kinda back fired didn't it? I hope everything goes well today with your babies. Congrats on becoming a mommy!

Kay~ Two words Bad Santa! Thanks for being my valentine last year. Was it only a year ago? Thanks for trying sushi even though you were scared. Thanks for making me float the canal, I had fun floating it with your friends while you were in the ER. Oh and for enjoying the "outdoor" eye candy with me.

Steven~ You like it when I hit on your dad. You like it when I talk all the way through Titanic and laugh during the "touching" scenes. How come you like such lame movies? Wait don't answer that. Thanks for always being willing to try a new "page" with me. I think page 174 is still my favorite. Oh and don't forget the good times in AP institute.

Hayley & Monte~ I am jealous much that you live somewhere warm. I have so much respect for the two of you. Thanks for being one of the few people who can get married and still have single friends. Oh and P.S. There ARE Philadelphia pretzels I found an entire pamphlet on them.

Lolly Pants & P.J.~ I was so so poor and you scraped the most random things together and made an amazing dinner. You have a home that I always feel welcome in, (when it's not naked day.) There are very few people that when I am in their homes I don't feel like a guest and yours is one of them. I don't know anyone else I could stay up that late with playing canasta and/or Settlers of Catan. I hate it that you left me but I am glad your life is better in Oklahoma.

Melissa~ I'm glad that you are still my friend after meeting my family in their element. You can see where I get it now huh? I'm glad your mom didn't judge me when David left at 4 in the morning. Thanks for teaching me to climb, even if it was harder to teach me than the boy scouts. I adore it now and would never have tried it without you. There are so many things I would never have tried without you. I.E. My new favorite kind of pizza.


Strangely enough I love my job...

Yesterday a customer came up to me and asked me where the sandpaper was and I said aisle 6. But I wasn't sure so I decided to follow her over there and make sure. So we are walking to the next aisle and her little girl says "Mooooommmmmy! That scary lady is following us!"


Valentine's Day

Why do single women hate Valentine's day so much? This is something I don't understand. Why do we call it singles awareness day and sit around feeling sorry for ourselves. The day isn't only about romantic love. C.S. Lewis teaches us us that there are four kinds of love:

Affection: Fondness through familiarity.
Friendship: A bond between two people sharing a common interest or activity.
Eros: Romantic Love.
Carita: Unconditional Love.

Ok I have a little confession here. I haven't kissed a boy in three years. That's right, three years. It is also coming up on my one year mark for my last date. But I'm not throwing myself a pity party. I'm not wandering around gong I'm too fat, or I'm not funny enough, or I have too much adult acne. When the right guy comes around he will recognize me. In the mean time I will do my best to improve myself so I'll be easier to recognize when that time comes.

Anyway back to the point...

Why do we spend the day wallowing in what we don't have? If we think about it I'm sure we can come up with so many other ways our lives are blessed with love. Again refer to brother Lewis, the man knows his stuff. Call your mom, I wish I could. Call a few friends you haven't talked to in awhile. Leave an anonymous naughty love note on some hottie's car. Send flowers to that girl in the office you know will have a rough day. You don't see boys running around eating a half gallon of ice cream, burning photos of ex's, and playing their Heman Woman Hater's Club playlist. Let's, for once, take a page from their book.

Last year I went out for sushi with two really good friends. This year I have the day off. I have no plans. I'll probably sleep in, then take a super long bath with tons and tons of bubbles. Then I'll probably make waffles with whipped cream and fresh strawberries. I'll watch the American Idol I Tivoed the night before. Then I'll wrap myself up in a super fluffy just from the dryer blanket with a great book. I'll probably call Kristen, I think her husband is still in the middle east. I'll have to call my BFF Zac and tell him I love him 18. Later that night I'll head off to institute, if I feel bad at all I'll take heart in looking around the room and seeing that it is as full as normal. Maybe I'll go to Bro. Belnap's class because I have a little crush on him. Who knows.


Things I heart:


Roller Coasters

any kind of gummy candy


Spicy Cheetos

The Office

Adrenaline Rush

Big sandwiches especially real cheese steaks or hoagies

Country Music




Taco Bell's Spicy Chicken Crunch Wrap

Bon fires


My camera

My hot pink guitar

Heels that makes your legs look HOT!

Skinny Days


American Idol


I just miss her.

So today a friend sent me an email of much importance to my hotmail account. I haven't checked this account in a very long time. Consequently, I was deleting the 205 unread messages, (5 or so that were from a guy I broke up with 5 years ago. What is he doing emailing me still?) so back to the point...

I still have a couple of emails from my mom. I almost couldn't open them. She addressed them to Reese, I miss her calling me Reese. I mean my entire family and some really close friends call me that but it just isn't the same.

There were also all the emails I received from friends in the first few days after the accident. Strangely enough the first email was from my friend Peet, she was living in the Czech Republic at the time. News travels so fast. I am so grateful for so many good friends who were there for me through all of that.

I am also grateful for the good friends that are still here for me on nights like tonight when it just sweeps over me that I have to be without her for the rest of this life. I can go on a great date and she isn't there to call and pry every detail from me. I have to get married someday without her, I have to have babies without her there to just be my mommy.

I know I'll be with her again and that she is eternally my mom. But tonight I just miss her. Even though I have complete faith in my Heavenly Father, is it ok if sometimes I still just wonder what was he thinking? I still need her!