Wednesday

New Phone

I showed my smashed phone to my boss.
"We'll get you a new one."

Ummm.... I'm thinking like a flip phone.

"Go down to Verizon on your lunch and pick out a phone, I don't care what it is. Keep it under $1,000."

*At the Verizon Store*

Me: Tell me why I would want an iphone?

Verizon Guy: Well if you want to be cool like your friends.

*******

Me: What is the difference between the Samsung S5 and S4?

VG: Well the S5 has some really cool fitness features.

Me: Do I  LOOK like I am into fitness?

VG: Well.... Maybe you want to start.... this would make it easy.

Me: Does it show me how to find the best egg roll in town?

********

Me: I don't like any of these cases you brought out. They are all icky, got any cute ones?

VG: Define cute?

Me: Like maybe they have a fireman on the back... or a picture of Luke Bryan!

VG: Well what I could do is get out my paint set and we could see what we could whip up for you.

*******

But seriously guys. I got a brand new S5 yesterday because I work for the best guys in the world. That was no waste of money. He just bought himself one darn loyal employee. Everyone wants to work here.


Tuesday

Wade is Home

Wade has been working on a cruise ship since November. Thus he has been mostly unreachable. This from the guy who would call me from the beach in Hawaii on vacation just to talk. But he's back now and has been trying to call me. But with no working phone I had no idea.

Today I got this message from a mutual friend via Google chat:

Wade wanted me to tell you the following:
  • He thinks you're really pretty
  • his dog faked a pregnancy again (he hates it when she does that)
  • he thought of you on mothers day
  • that he was so busy helping his dad with his mothers day gifts that he forgot to get his mom anything
  • he bought a new cologne, it smells good and he can't wait to wear it all the days.
  • He has something for you from Japan
  • and thank you god bless!

I can't wait until my phone is working again so I can get all the scoop and the gossip on his travels. I just love that kid! 

Sunday

I Do What I Want

Remember the two fancy events I went to here.

Well two nights ago Kyle A and myself found ourselves at another event.

Kyle: "Uh I think those are your favorite cookies on that table."

Me: "Huh?"

Kyle: "Those cookies you love I think they have them on that table."

ME: "Ruby Snaps?! Where?!" as I shove my dinner leftovers in to his hands

Kyle: "You can only have one!" he calls out to me as I run across the room like a crazy girl

Me: "I'll do what I want! AND THEY ARE THE GOOD ONES!!!!"

Kyle: "Seriously you only get one."

Me: "and the one you aren't eating, wait.... These aren't Ruby Snaps!"

*10 minutes later*

Me: "Is it ok to throw half a cookie away in front of a homeless man? Part of me feels that it's wrong, but would it be insulting to offer him a half eaten cookie?"

Saturday

No Phone Either

Well I now also have no phone.

You see I was cleaning the basement,

and listening to the beach boys on my phone.

I had it in the pocket of my hoodie,

and I was MAYBE dancing.

My phone fell out and landed on the tile floor.

I picked it up and went back to dancing.

Then it fell out again.

I mean maybe I was dancing....

The second time I picked it up I noticed that the screen was shattered.

Not cracked, SHATTERED!!!

But still playing Good Vibrations!

My phone has it's priorities.

Thursday

Addiction

Growing up my dad always subscribed to U.S. News. The inside cover always had some kind of demographic map of the U.S. Showing the results of some study or another. I LOVED looking at those maps. I loved looking at how different parts of the country would have certain clusters. I also loved that Utah was typically an outlier.

I still have a weird addiction to these kinds of maps. 

Here is one showing the prevalence of obesity worldwide. No Surprises here. 

Or how we still refuse to be like everyone else in the entire world and use the metric system.  Oh wait there is one African and one Asian country hanging in there with us.

This one shows the most common auto complete per state. So If I typed into Google "Utah is so..." then Utah is so weird would be the one most commonly searched for. Or New Jersey is a dump. Who are these people using the internet anyway? I wonder sometimes if we should really just let anyone on here. 
 A Map showing the most popular brand that originated in each state. Of course Cabela's in Nebraska. I wish Jersey was big enough for me to recognize. Does is say Coca Cola? Could it be?
*Willie Says Jersey is Campbell's Soup! Of Course it is! And Coke is obviously down there in AL.
This one shows the presence of the 7 deadly sins. Curious.... 



Tuesday

Primary

I SERIOUSLY love my primary kids. People tell me I'm great with them. Really I'm just one of them.

"Ok, what did the Easter bunny bring you? Seriously cough it up, you're going to need to share with me." ~Me
*Andrew bites off half his Laffy Taffy and passes the half in his mouth to me, to pass to Kayla. Which I did, and she ate without hesitation.

"You know what my favorite primary moment was this week? When you and the 7 year old boy started laughing uncontrollably at the same thing." ~Kayla.

"Hey Andrew! Andrew! Psst... You got any candy in your pockets?" ~Me
"No... But should I start bringing some?"~Andrew

My Glasses

If you haven't noticed, I'm a blonde again. Kyle A convinced me to do it. "God made you a blonde, and God doesn't make mistakes." This time around Drew Drop made me a blonde. It took me a few days to get used to being a blonde again. It's like I didn't recognize myself when I'd look in a mirror.
But we are here to talk about a different change you might have noticed. The glasses. They look pretty good right?
Let me clear something up... The secret is out. I have 20/20 vision. It's that strong Viking heritage. Clean genetics. I bought those at a store for ten year old girls. I felt totally awkward standing in line with all the little girls to buy my treasure. I just tried not to make eye contact and browsed the One Direction items. It felt right.