There are three eternal truth that the missionaries copied down for my mom once.
1. When metal is red, it is hot. DON'T touch it.
2. Don't catch falling chainsaws.
Three comes from this story, I was about 16.
For a few nights in a row I had seen a light bobbing around our backyard. I was sure someone was sneaking around our yard with a flashlight. I was nervous but my Dad had had assured me that everything was fine and it was just my imagination.
Then my dad left for scout camp with the boys and Katy said she had seen the same thing. Still, my dad had assured me there was nothing to worry about. Probably just a light reflecting off the pool making it look like it was moving.
But then I heard someone in the garage. Now I will admit that I have a very active imagination. But I could hear that someone was in the garage. Someone large. Because I could hear large things being picked up and moved around. I heard something fall off the wall and then heard a deep sigh. No actual words but certainly a voice. It wasn't a happy voice either. The sigh turned to a frustrated kind of grunt and Katy and I were scared.
Mom was home, but I believe had just had Logan and was upstairs sleeping as most new moms do. We went and woke her up, had her listen, and she also heard the noises. Katy and I gun in hand, I am not making this stuff up, headed back downstairs to call the police. Once I was back downstairs an idea came to me. My dog hadn't barked. Not even once. She was very protective of us and would bark her head off when any stranger approached the house. Odd, I thought. So What I decided to do was stand behind the door, open it and let the dog look out. I opened the door, Yogi looked out and stared... nothing.
So I opened the door and looked out. One of our cows was in the garage. Dad had emptied the van of the feed he had purchased and left it in the garage in his hurry to take off for camp. The cow had gotten out, found the bag of feed and had been eating out of it while also pushing it across the garage floor.
So number three is "Remember that the flashlight man was only a cow."
That's right I just called you all Dogs and Cows... and you like it.