I feel sometimes as single women in the gospel we feel a need to pretend like we don't want to be married and we are perfectly happy being single. Which in some ways is true. I am single and I am happy. That doesn't mean that when I see a woman screaming at her little man in the Wal-Mart that my heart doesn't ask why she gets to have one and not me. Or that I am not sad that the amount of babies I want to have has been drastically reduced by the years I have spent not having them.
I was sad/worried enough about it a few years ago that I decided I was just going to ask The Lord why I was waiting. No need to be subtle with Him. He answered me as directly as I asked him and my heart was calmed. I am content, even excited to wait now. In college I heard this little quote and have tried to live by it.
"Stop thinking of
the man of your dreams,
and become the
woman of his."
Simple, but in my mind powerful. I have a friend who is upset with me for not working harder at finding a man. I feel that by working hard at perfecting myself, I am doing everything I need to be doing to find him. I don't think it needs to be hard or that I need to be "on the prowl." It just isn't me. I think that as with any true friendship when the right person comes along it won't be hard at all. I think it will just click. Have you worked hard to make friends with your very best ones? I haven't. One day they are just a part of your life and you realize that you want them to always be.
I found this on Pinterest this morning. Randomly, when for some reason I was not logged in.
I want this to be me. Not the woman who is throwing myself at a man because I don't like myself enough to be alone. Once I logged into Pinterest, I searched by Maya Angelou so I could find the above quote and pin it, and I also found this one.
I am not just trusting life. I am trusting The Lord who knows ALL things. I am living my life the best way I know how, working hard at becoming a better woman, and one third of a future eternal temple marriage. When life changes I am prepared for it. Until then I am happy to be just me, Annie Hall.