The Red Dress

I am posting this hoping that you will love me not just in spite of what I am about to show you, but perhaps a little bit more because of it.

Look for the red dress....

1st Grade (I LOVED the teacher)

3rd Grade (I HATED the teacher)

HA! Notice a difference in length? Don't worry my parents bought me nice clothes I just loved this skirt too much to get rid of it. See the little patch on the front. I made that into a pocket. My skirt may have been a little short but I was cool!

Sadness

Isn't the PB&J like the lowest form of the culinary arts? I mean if you can't make anything else you should be able to make a PB&J. Am I wrong? So to what low have we stooped that someone needs to buy a frozen, crustless PB&J. Why? Do people not have time to make one?  Do they not have the skills? There is no way this can be better than homemade can it?

A Compliment

Today my boss called me a Renissance woman while I was looking at cannoli shells.

Renaissance woman

n.

A woman who has broad intellectual interests and is accomplished in areas of both the arts and the sciences.

 

I will take it! 

For Zac

Well, Well, Well,

Doesn't this make you feel better.

Petition for Safety

I am trying to convince my boss that Company ski day is something I should abstain from. 

He says now is the time to learn.

Which of my friends wants to leave a comment explaining to him why this is a bad idea?

You may address your remarks to Mr.C. 

A curiosity

Say you came across a candy jar that had a multitude of Ghiradelli and Lindt chocolates.

This jar also had some Hersey Kisses.

Would you dig through to get to the kisses?

Because this candy jar exists on my desk.

And someone just dug through for the kisses. 

My ten day forecast isn't looking so good either...

Dieting

What I find odd about dieting is that when I cheat I feel just as guilty as if I had committed some great sin.

Then I have to tell myself. It isn't a big deal, you just had three fruit snacks.

No need to see the Bishop.

Take a deep breath and have another fruit snack.

The eyeball shirt

My dad had this yellow shirt when I was little. It had two big eyes on it and said something like "lookin' good" or something like that. Anyway my dad was in love with it. By the time my mom finally got him to quit wearing it, he may still have it, there was literally nothing left of the shirt. The hole was bigger than the shirt itself.
 
Not everyone is lucky to find a shirt that is perfect in every way. I have one too. I stole it from my brother. It is a Widner Pioneer Football camp t-shirt from when he was in middle school. I love it in every way. The trouble is that it is over ten years old now and I still wear it. Up until yesterday it only had a few small holes in it. But I was trying to put it on and a bigger hole ripped into the back of it.  Sadness. it is also so thread bear that it is almost see through.

At what point do I have to throw it away? Can I keep it in honor of the "Lookin' Good" shirt until there is more hole than shirt? I want to.

UPDATE: The pioneers are no longer in existence. Due to popular vote, the collective Widener athletic teams have been known as The Pride since 2006. That means my shirt is now a valuable collector's item which I must keep and treasure for always. I guess I have my answer.

Newlyweds

Jon and I were in the checkout line at Target. We were laughing and giggling and carrying on. We were teasing the cashier and had him and the guys behind us in line laughing out loud when the cashier, obviously a very freshly returned missionary, mentioned something about us being newlyweds and how great that was.

Much more giggling ensued as Jon tried to explain that we were not newlyweds just good friends spending the weekend together. But the cashier understood him wrong and though we were friends "spending the weekend together." The cashier got all quiet and awkward after that. Eventually Jon paid and escorted me out of the Target. The guy behind me in line was still laughing almost as hard as I was.

I once again would just like to say how thankful I am for my friends. Even the people in line behind us wished that they had my friends. Too bad cute boy in line, they are mine!

Wait... he was cute... and I bet single.

Urrg!

Opportunity wasted.

I honk

Yes I do. I am that person. 

Blame it on being a Philly girl. We honk.

That is how you know YOU are being an idiot.

It may just be me but it seems that people here in the great state of Utah are NOT courteous or aware drivers and that makes them bad drivers.

VERY VERY BAD!

I am forced to drive among you and that leaves me no choice...

 But to HONK!

Suspish

It weirds me out when oranges have extreme outies.

18 Kind of love is...

When you are so sick that it hurts to breathe 

but you call me anyway

because you wanted to make sure I was doing okay.

CES Fireside with Elder Christofferson

I fell asleep during his fireside on Sunday, I'm not going to lie, but my entire row did. 

I am glad I went however, because I did hear one thing. It perhaps, was even out of context but I heard him say to watch not only what we take from the internet, but what we put on it. I have thought about that and think that I am going to be editing the content of my blog a little better. I am going to try to keep the negativity to a minimum and maybe not be quite as "scandalous." I am even going to go back and remove a post or two from the past. 

Is the internet the place to lay all my frustrations out? Probably not. If I need to cry, or talk it out I know who I can call who will be there in a flash, in person... and they may even let me break something. That is what best friends are for right? Between them and my Heavenly Father I shouldn't need to "get it all out" here. 

We will see how this continues to progress. I hope I can still be funny, informative, and honest.

But I am still irritated by the open mouth chewer and I think he knows it, because he slinks into my office and back out in a hurry now. That's perfect I like it when people are frightened of me. This is how it should be.

Let 'em in!

The other day at work this guy came in and handed my boss this card:

(It reads: Friend of Jimmy Let 'em in!) 

The guy told my boss to bring all his rowdy friends and show up at his concert for a good time. My boss gave me the card because he said I am the rowdy one. Ha! The guy that gave it to us was a little crazy to begin with, it was at a shady venue, AND the card itself reaked of cigarette smoke! I put the card in the pile of business card that have accumulated on my desk and didn't think much of it.

It had been sitting on my desk for days...

Until a salesman came in a few days later. We politely told the man we weren't interested and he asked to leave his card. What he gave us was a big fat letter opener with his business card in it. So I took his out and replaced it with Jimmy's!

I have been using Jimmy as my letter opener for a few weeks now and after my temple time out episode I sat at my desk and re read the back of the card. "Friend of Jimmy, Let 'em in" Which was suppose to get me and all my wild friends into some club. What I started thinking was how I kinda feel the same way when I use my recommend to enter the temple. I feel like maybe if I look down at the screen next time they scan it, the screen just might say "Friend of The Lord, let 'er in!"

I need to work on being a better friend to The Lord.

A Facebook Struggle

I struggle. 

Sometimes someone pops up on facebook and it says we have like 43 friends in common. 

And I feel like it is awkwawrd not to add them as a friend because obviously we run in the same circles.

But I don't feel like we are friends. 

So I don't.

I facebook stalk you...

I am friends with all but one of my ex-boyfriends, something fun for the summers, and what was I thinkings.

Odd but true.

So the other day I was conversing with one of the before mentioned men and the more I got involved in what he was telling me the more I thought that the things he loves are stupid.

I had to stop facebook stalking him because I was so disgusted with my former self who was faux in love with him. Looking back, I am glad I listened to the spirit when he spoke to me: "Yes he is a good guy, but not good for you."


I am glad that I didn't let our few common interests (music, cooking, and kissing) keep us together. I was devastated when it ended. Well kinda distraught. Okay maybe just bored. But it did suck. In the end I am so glad I am single and me, rather than one part of an us I don't really care for.

Random Tidbits

1. Someone once told me that I am like a Camel Cigarette. No filter! I should work on that.

2. A friend texted me the other day and said she drove past a Chinese buffet and started missing me. She literally shed a few tears. <3

3. Someone else told me that I am like a Sour Patch kid, all sour on the outside and sweet in the middle but all you remember is the sour. She was kidding.

4. Rice gives me hiccups.

Heart

Know what I love?

When you get in your car and have to adjust all the mirrors because the last person to drive your car was a sexy man. 

Fort Bridger Adventure

With Katy and I it is always an adventure. What is an adventure you ask? Everything! But in this particular instance it was our trek back to Utah.

You see as noted earlier Katy and I left for Home on Monday night and spent the evening at Uncle Pete's. After a casual breakfast, we were on our way. Our GPS showed us getting home around 3 so we figured we had plenty of time to kill. So I called my Aunt Pat who is truly one of the greatest women alive. 

Here is a map of how our journey should have gone.

Following the map from right to left I should have taken the Mountain View exit and when heading out I should have found the freeway again at the Fort Bridger exit. Easy. I have done this many many many times without incident. So easy it is sickening.

Well we had a very pleasant visit and left with plenty of daylight to burn. I decided to follow the GPS. I don't really know how it happened. I must have missed a turn somewhere but at some point my GPS told me to turn down Country Road 261 or something like that. County Road 261 happened to be an unplowed sketchy dirt road so I decided to keep going and see what the GPS could come up with. Katy suggested turning around but we had come so far and were so close to the freeway.

I suppose I should have turned around when we passed the following sign.

The road looked clear however and it was kind of plowed. I thought we should go for it. Katy said turn around. But how do you turn around on a narrow country road. Very carefully! Or you get your car stuck in a ditch. Like I did. Katy tried to push it out with no luck. So I got out and tried. I was in shorts and moccasins, which I lost in the snow and traded for frost bite. I had little success. So we Yelled for help and two VERY attractive men in flannel and orange vests came to our rescue. We were back on the road in no time.

Silly us though we didn't ask for directions so we were left once again following the GPS. Which did eventually take us back to the freeway. We only lost 30-40 minutes on our adventure and we also got to meet two tall lumber jacks. Or hunters... Or escaped felons. Who ever they were they brightened our day and lightened our load. Hopefully word never gets back to our Aunt Pat. These things do in small communities.