New Phone

I showed my smashed phone to my boss.
"We'll get you a new one."

Ummm.... I'm thinking like a flip phone.

"Go down to Verizon on your lunch and pick out a phone, I don't care what it is. Keep it under $1,000."

*At the Verizon Store*

Me: Tell me why I would want an iphone?

Verizon Guy: Well if you want to be cool like your friends.

*******

Me: What is the difference between the Samsung S5 and S4?

VG: Well the S5 has some really cool fitness features.

Me: Do I  LOOK like I am into fitness?

VG: Well.... Maybe you want to start.... this would make it easy.

Me: Does it show me how to find the best egg roll in town?

********

Me: I don't like any of these cases you brought out. They are all icky, got any cute ones?

VG: Define cute?

Me: Like maybe they have a fireman on the back... or a picture of Luke Bryan!

VG: Well what I could do is get out my paint set and we could see what we could whip up for you.

*******

But seriously guys. I got a brand new S5 yesterday because I work for the best guys in the world. That was no waste of money. He just bought himself one darn loyal employee. Everyone wants to work here.