I showed my smashed phone to my boss.
"We'll get you a new one."
Ummm.... I'm thinking like a flip phone.
"Go down to Verizon on your lunch and pick out a phone, I don't care what it is. Keep it under $1,000."
*At the Verizon Store*
Me: Tell me why I would want an iphone?
Verizon Guy: Well if you want to be cool like your friends.
Me: What is the difference between the Samsung S5 and S4?
VG: Well the S5 has some really cool fitness features.
Me: Do I LOOK like I am into fitness?
VG: Well.... Maybe you want to start.... this would make it easy.
Me: Does it show me how to find the best egg roll in town?
Me: I don't like any of these cases you brought out. They are all icky, got any cute ones?
VG: Define cute?
Me: Like maybe they have a fireman on the back... or a picture of Luke Bryan!
VG: Well what I could do is get out my paint set and we could see what we could whip up for you.
But seriously guys. I got a brand new S5 yesterday because I work for the best guys in the world. That was no waste of money. He just bought himself one darn loyal employee. Everyone wants to work here.