An Open Letter to My Eternal Bestie

This isn't one of those letters where I say "I know you are where the Lord wants you to be right now and I have faith we will recognize each other when the time is right." Sappy crap.

This is a legit letter to you.

But I do pray for you every night, so you better be being basically good.

I don't the know where you are tonight....

But you are in the wrong place.

Seriously!

I made a very delicious dinner, you probably had a can of chili or some other bachelor food. Time to stop that business and get yourself a wife. The house is clean, basically, and I fixed the downstairs toilet... basically. It needs a man.

I have been on one this week. I have been FUNNY. I'm not even kidding. I have laughed until it hurt multiple times a day. You are missing it. I can't write ALL this stuff down. Do you know Wednesday night at the temple, I made my entire session laugh so hard they almost had to pause the session? I need to set a better example. I need you to tell me to behave myself.

There is an extra spot for you here on the couch tonight, and you don't want to miss Duck Dynasty. They are teaching me how to be a better woman. I hope you like squirrel because I found the recipe online. I'm kidding... we can have chicken.

I know that since you are straight you probably haven't learned your part of the Elephant Love Medley from Moulin Rouge yet. Remember that I sing Ewan's parts and you get Nicole's. P.S. I know I can't sing but you like it. ALMOST as much as you like when I write you songs on my hot pink guitar that only has 4 strings. I am good at this game.

I started Yoga again. You are welcome.

Oh and Charlie says to hurry up. He agrees you are in the wrong place tonight. He is ready to get this party started... but he needs a body first.

You are out of excuses. I don't care if you are saving all the starving kids in Africa right now. Come find me and we can save the world, one happily tucked in baby, one night at a time... Oops... got a little sappy there. Maybe imagine they wake up in a hour and they peed the bed. Sappiness over...

Oh and it's your turn to get up with them tonight.

Hey, I'm not the one who caved and let them have juice right before bed.

Reese

and Don't be a Dork!

One time my boss (@ Lowe's) yelled to a fellow co-worker "Take Annie to dinner and don't be a dork!" I like to still use that expression.

This one started more like this:
"What can I possibly say that will guilt you into taking me to dinner?"

I am booked for a hot date with him on Monday.

A good chat with my Snubs is just what I need.

Those are some pretty great topics we are going to cover.

P.S. Mandy is this other girl who wanted to be his BBF. Too bad woman! I don't share!

Your Eyes Give You Away

One time Katy and I were being spotlighted on the ward bulletin board. We were asked what our life goals were and I said "I want to be as precious as Brother Olson and as hot as his wife." My spotlight stayed on the board for a VERY long time.

Today I would like to modify my life goal

The Olson's who I love and miss very much are on a mission in Africa.
I stole these pictures from their facebook page.

New life goal "To find a man that looks at me, even a couple of times, the way Bro. Olson looks at Sis. Olson in every single picture."

Seriously, I love these two!

A Time to Laugh

I have friends like Zac that are great at just letting me cry

and Dave who always makes me feel safe.

and lolly who always makes me laugh when I shouldn't. You know like in the temple, or at a funeral. 

We have catch phrases that we made up ourselves like "That's what kind of dedication we have," or "5 a lot." Yes my friends that infamous quote came from our own Lolly. 

We also have ones we say to each other all the time that come from movies. Things like "So I'm 5 minutes late to work every once in a awhile, what is the big whoop?" or "I wish you'd have shown me this photo footage before I sat down." Both from the movie Swing Vote which by the way is funny. But not as funny as when Lolly says it.

One of our other favorites is Win a Date "Sometimes Goliath kicks the (stuffing) out of David," or "everyone is Tad Hamilton to someone," oh oh or "have her back before dawn and no crack cocaine!" The later one is always fun to yell at the other as they leave on a date. 

Last night I showed this clip to Leah and Jeep after Lolly reminded me of it. To be honest I have never seen the movie. But Lolly and I watched this clip over, and over, and over again. And we laugh, and laugh, and laugh.   

I can't stop watching it. There are so many classic lines from this scene that we use in every day talk. I posted it to a friend's wall today because he has a broken heart. "Get yo self some RIBS and some ice cream, because you have been dumped." I hope he doesn't get offended. You can't be offended when you are laughing so hard. 

In my opinion, you know who you are, there is no more important time to laugh than now. 

Key Players

Saturday night a couple of my good friends, and crushes, mentioned to me that they still religiously follow my blog, but it is hard sometimes because they do not know any of the people I mention.

So for their benefit...

The Key Players:
(Not to be confused, necessarily, with key life players)

Leah
She is my roommate. She is the sweetest girl ever. She is laid back and funny. Sometimes she can be a little inappropriate. But always in the right amounts, not like me. She is engaged to...

Jeep
Or Jay Paul as his voicemail states. He has the craziest laugh you have ever heard and he laughs at everything. Unless something is really funny and then he says "That's funny" accompanied by a big deep sigh. He loves pizza and Leah. His best friend is...

Kennedy
We disagree about EVERYTHING except the gospel. We voted for different people. He has an iphone, and myself a droid. He likes Wheat Chex and I like Rice Chex. We HATE each others music. We do, however, agree on how much we both love to go to Moochies for a cheesesteak, and that we don't want to fall in love with each other. He wears his BYU hoodie as a "chastity shield." He knows I will never touch a man wearing that.

Jessica
I met in my ward. She is a horrible jerk. I love that about her. Dave says she has a heart of gold, and he is right but she is very picky about who she lets see her true nature.

Dave
I asked him the other day where he came from. I don't remember meeting him, and I don't know why he is still around, but I count my blessing that he is. Heavenly Father knew I needed him. He has been around for awhile and I just recently admitted to myself that he just might be my best friend. But shhh... Don't tell him.

Zacula
Has been my bestie for a very long time. Today he reinforced to me that he is one of the greatest thing in my life. I could not love him more than I do. We met when he bit me at work. It was then I realized I needed this man in my life. He has remained for many years, through the thick and thin. Some times very thin, like hanging on by a whisper kind of thin.

The Kyles
When I mention a Kyle there is a possibility of it being two different men. Kyle A. I met in my current ward, he ripped his pants at the ward activity this weekend and Katy had to tell him about it. This was no small rip my friends, it was a cheek to knee kind of rip. I helped him buy a new suit a bit ago and he looks GOOD in it. Seriously ladies, he looks good.

The other Kyle isn't as much of a prominent player on the old blog. But is none the less a key player in my life.

Cameran
Is a girl. We recently confided in each other that we are sure we met because the Lord knew we would need each other. She spoke in Sacrament meeting the first time I saw her, and I heard clear as day in my mind "that is your new best friend." She is co-founder of our fishing club "the screaming catfish," and she is that friend for me that can make anything all better with just a quick chat. She is the girl version of my Zac. She always has the best advice, and she has two German Shepherds for me to cuddle.

Kate
is of course my sister, and Willie already knows who she is.

Work Peeps
I tend to bundle into one person. But they are funny, and I have been thinking about including more of our conversations on here. Like when one of the items of business in our weekly sales meeting was "how does Annie know that Mike wears button fly jeans?"

For You

 Sometimes when I am on pinterest I pin something not because I love it for me, but because it reminds me of someone else and warms my heart.

For Wheat Chex aka Kennedy

Because some day he will realize he loves me 

For Jay Paul 

Because he laughed almost as hard as I did but not for nearly as long. 

For Leah

Because that is what friendship means  

 For Kate

Because she is obsessed and even I think this one is cute 

For you

Because sometimes you have to go find him, but don't call him an idiot 

For Zac

Because you bit me. In front of corprate... and your Dad. 

For Dave

This is suppose to be your job. You said it was an adventure. 

For every girl who cries in Relief Society

Don't twist yourself either. 

For me

Yes please! I'll take two! 

The Blue Light

Does anyone else remember when KMart had blue light specials? I do, because my grandma would see the light and be drawn to it. You can't pass up a sale right?

The last few nights, on my way home I have noticed a blue light in the sky. But this time it wasn't KMart. It was another place that led me to believe that perhaps the blue light doesn't mean sale. It is simply a beacon to the elderly.

The light was coming form the local Sizzler.

Real Life

I'm just saying...
I would fall in love.
I already have the dress to be Princess Peach!
Someday...

The Summer of Wawa

Who remembers our trip to Philadelphia where we stopped at a Wawa at 2am so that I could consume a hoagie?

I probably should not be posting that picture of myself, but it is so lovely. The hoagie I mean.

Today I was very excited when I spotted these bad boys in my local grocery store.

Now while they are a brand of chips I loved growing up and have yet to spot on this side of the continent, that is not why I have an affinity for these tasty morsels.

You see one summer my mom was at an antique auction. She bid on a certain lot, because that lot contained some antique that she wanted. Included in that lot was about a million, or 20 whatever, boxes of Cape Cod Kettle Cooked Chips. I think that might have also been the same lot where she also won a boat load of cinnamon gum.

That same summer we did a girls camp fund raiser where we sold Wawa hoagie gift certificates.

My dad, you see has the same love of a good hoagie that I do, and he decided that he was going to be paying for our girl's camp fees either way so he might as well get a bunch of free hoagies out of it.

So we spent all summer eating Wawa hoagies and Cape Cod Kettle Cooked chips. We ate A LOT, and so did the elders, and anyone else who came in contact with us. I never tired of either.

So today I was a happy girl when I opened a bag and tasted that summer when mom and Dad were fighting over who got to drive the tractor next, Mom and I landscaped the front yard, and Logan was added to our family.  

Meet Hooch

Me: Well she said they lay on top of each other on the couch and make out while she's in the room watching TV.
Leah: That is super awkward!
Me: I've never even seen you guys kiss!
Jeep: I don't even like to kiss if there is an animal watching!
Me: WE ARE GETTING A FISH!
Leah: Oh gosh do it!
Jeep: *giggles
Me: He will be the defender of virtue for our home. He'll just sit in the front room WATCHING you.
Leah: What should we name him?
Jeep: *giggles
Me: Hold up! I have a book of pet names!

We picked the name Hooch. It was a family decision and means ”to keep warm on cold nights.”

We had our own FHE tonight and picked him out.

We already love him!

Oh and P.S. He maybe lives in a GIANT margarita glass.

Oh and maybe Leah and Jeep became officially engaged about twenty minutes after this conversation took place.

Weekend Update

Jessica swore 9 times during Relief Society.

Other people heard at least two of them.

A dear friend apologized for things said and done this summer.

Pajama Lord of the Rings Marathon.

Ate more of my "secret recipe spicy parmesan popcorn" than is healthy.

Saw a movie with Dave, and one of our favorite couples.

Lost two pounds.

Lunch date canceled due to weather.

"I don't want him to be with someone fantastic! I want him to be with me!"

Decided to add a member to our family. *more on that later

Braved the weather to clean the church at 9am.

New perfume samples from Diptyque. Yes Please!

Lady at Nordstrom refuses to give me a sample of the perfume I want (flowerbomb) because my personalty is too strong for that one.

Gives me two other samples of what she thinks I need.

Conversations with the Cam to calm my heart.

Cold Stone and Conversation in negative temperatures.

Note from a friend that was so sweet I copied it and carry it with me everywhere I go now.

Someone got engaged.

Rescued from awkward town by our own Kenny Rodgers, and Joan.

9:30

"I knew you were a Jerk from the moment I met you. Our entire friendship is based on you being a jerk. Just don't be one to me!"

Dropped my phone in the parking lot while it was being plowed and didn't realize until later.

Stocking Up

When hurricane Sandy hit last year I was watching the news very closely. I was very concerned about my home town and those I love that still reside there. While reading article after article I spotted one on the preparations of locals for the storm. The article contained this photo.

Does anything strike you as odd about what the next man in line is buying in preparation for this storm?

Gotta stock up on Tater Patties!

Which also reminds me that a friend posted the facebook status of a girl who went to our high school that said "stocking up for the storm. I bought 12 cupcakes and a  bottle of wine." But let's be honest. I would probably stock up on egg rolls or something foolish like that.

Temple Conversations

Me: Tell Bro. Crowther that boys are icky!
Bro. Crowther: Who is looking for a man?
Me: *raises hand* A cowboy please!
B: Does he need a horse?
M: Or a big truck.
B:  Any other requests?
M: Oh a classic county playlist for the radio.
B: Well let me think. Does he need a horse for you?
M: We can share... And I can burn us a playlist, just find me the man.
B: You just want the horse. A good horse is much easier to find than a good man and a lot easier to train.
M: I'm not worried, find me one and I'll break him.
B: Are we taking about men or horses?
M: Oh look, my shift is up.

My Hostess Remembrance

I am a little bit spoiled. I confessed that to Dave the other night. Or at least I WAS a little spoiled as a child which I will demonstrate with my Hostess remembrance in honor of their demise. But don't worry I saw pink snowballs at a truck stop in Wyoming. Apparently Hostess isn't the only one who knows how to cover marshmallows in chocolate cake and cover that in pink shredded paper that resembles coconut.

When I was a small child, younger than five, My mom worked Thursday nights cutting hair at a senior center. Or something like that. Anyway, that was our date night with dad and it usually included a trip to the park and a trip to the Hostess thrift store. One time I found strawberry Twinkies and I was very excited to eat them, but for some reason they were left at home on the counter. When I finally arrived home to consume my culinary treasure my uncle was there, and he had eaten them. I hated him from that moment on. Seriously I hated him, and I was scared of him, and I referred to him as that man who ate my Twinkies. Moral of the story, don't come between me and my food.

Okay but I just had another hostess memory. Get excited. My dad took my grandma (mom's mom) grocery shopping one day a few years ago. Neither of my grandparents drove anymore and they relied on others to have food other than meals on wheels in the house. At the check out my grandma plead with my dad to get her a box of ding dongs "Oh I just love them so much Steve and when I come with Mick he never lets me get any." He caved and got her a box. When they were home and he was helping her unpack the groceries he watched her sneak three boxes downstairs.

When she passed they had two freezers in the basement. One had normal things... freezer jam, pork chops, cardboard pizzas. One had nothing but Ding Dongs. I am not making this stuff up. She was prepared for the demise of Hostess. Each of the heirs was given a couple of paper bags with things they had hoarded dived up evenly among each heir. Each heir received a bag of match books, string, paper towels, Windex, and 5 boxes of ding dongs. Mine were from 1991. I tossed them. Maybe I should have kept them to remember her by though. I thought that there would always be more available, how wrong I was.

Lately...

Yesterday at the grocery store this lady kept calling her daughter "momma." I thought that was real strange but my roommate says she heard it on her mission all the time. Maybe I will start calling my Papa daughter. He likes it.

* * * *

I don't make New Year's resolutions. But my dad told me to kiss a boy so... Maybe I will get to work on that one.
He has a specific one in mind for me.

* * * *

When I hear classic country music I am always taken back to afternoons at home with my mom. The radio was always on in the background while Kate and I colored at the table and mom paid bills, or we played unicorns and cheetahs on the floor while she vacuumed, or we ate raw spaghetti while she started dinner. She was always busy, the radio was always on, and we were always somewhere near by.

* * * *

I was just thinking about how when dad would come home the first thing he would do, after hugging us and kissing mom, was turn off the radio. Katy and I would wait on the couch looking out the window. When you saw a car coming down the highway with only one headlight you knew it was dad.

* * * *

They hired someone to help me at work. She is a lot of help, but I am learning more and more, how hard it is for me to relinquish control of things.

* * * *

I am getting better, however, at relinquishing control of my life to my Heavenly Father. "You do it" I like to tell him. Then he takes control, stretches me to my limits, and I look back at who I used to be and barely recognize her.

* * * *

My favorite thing to look back and think is "Heavenly Father, thank you for telling me no. Oh how glad I am that I did not get what I wanted."

Angels (part two)

Many of you know about "the incident," but in case you missed it, a recap:
It was Wednesday night and I was up playing Mexican Train with my family. At some point I started to feel like I was drowning. I could breathe it wasn't that, it was that I felt this pressure in my head. My entire family had the flu days earlier so I thought maybe I needed to throw up, although that had never been an accompanying symptom before, I stood up to head to a bathroom. I was at the top of the stairs when my legs collapsed and I blacked out.

I woke up wondering why someone was yelling to call 911, and who was hurt. It was then I heard my dad calling my name. I still couldn't see at this point and was oddly unaware of my body. But I was quickly becoming aware that they were calling 911 for me and I was at the bottom of the stairs. At that point my only thought was "I can't afford to go to the hospital." So I said as much and my dad asked me to move my head, easy, and my legs, wasn't happening. It took me another minute to tell myself to move them. I knew I could I just still wasn't conscious enough to do so. Finally after some convincing my dad helped me up.  

It was then explained to me that they all heard me fall, but thought oh that sucks, and kept playing. My stepmom however decided to check on me and realized something was wrong. Kate and dad then came to my side while Melane was sent to call 911. My skin was blue, I wasn't breathing, I was unresponsive, and had landed on my neck at a twisted angle with the weight of my body on my neck which was still pressed against the bottom step. They were worried about moving me because of the odd angles, they didn't want to paralyze me as they were sure I had a serious neck injury. 

Katy decided to move me anyway and pulled on my arm until my neck was straightened out and I could breathe. I came to shortly after that. I still didn't understand the extent of what had just happened and I headed back upstairs to finish the game. I didn't last long.

In the time since then so many people have taken such good care of me. My dad, my stepmom, even my baby siblings. My Zac stands out, who is well known on this blog, he has been my hero. He's checked in on me a few times a day. He knows the nerdy (scientific) name for all my injuries better than I do, why they effect me the way they do, and my medical history better than me. He might be the only one who knows why I blacked out. Not because I told him, but because he was there "last time." Um but I forgot to pick up the medicine I need tonight. Don't be mad, Zac. He even tried to find someone to carry my suitcases into the house on my arrival back to Utah. He is also about the only one I know who can get me to follow doctor's orders.    

I'm grateful for my stepmom who checked on me, Katy who decided to risk it and get me breathing. My dad for being calm and praying extra hard for me. My stepmom for checking again, while I was sleeping, to make sure I was still alive. For everyone who responded to the text with prayers and encouragement. For my mom who stayed by my bedside all night, yes I know you were there. It's the most physical presence of you I felt since you've been separated from your body.

I could have blacked out anywhere. But I wasn't on the road, putting others lives in danger. I wasn't in the middle of nowhere Wyoming. I was at home with my family where I could be taken care of. Although I could have done without the fall.

My Heavenly Father has a plan for me and great expectations. He's watching over me and protecting me. I feel his love. I have healed so quickly, and am so lucky I'm not recovering from anything major. I'm in almost no pain now. I'm probably not ready to run up mountains with my Joan yet, but I'm getting there.