Friend: Did I wake you up? Me: No, sorry.
Friend: I was hoping we could have some pillow talk
Me: Well I figured a few things out this morning....
Friend: Tell me all about it.
Me: I really like how I look. I like me. But boys don't. Which leaves me feeling like I need to be something I'm not or something I don't even like in order to snag me a man.
Friend: That is ridiculous. You know we should be married and having babies right now.
Me: Yeah I know and we would be great. Why is it that men always want the skinny "handle with care girls?"
Friend: I have dated those girls, it never works out well. Yuck!
Me: You know when we all walk back to Missouri that you are going to want me in your wagon train. Because we will come in first, singing, laughing, and well fed...with healthy oxen. Why do men go for the girl they will have to carry most of the way there?
Friend: The breakable ones...
Me: It's true. Anyway I am depressed today. If I hear one more of those hcg diet ads I am going to call it, I swear I am.
Friend: Will you be in my wagon train?
Me: Listen if I join your wagon train it will be the third time I have defected this year! And I can hear that you are at the gym so have a good workout.
Friend: Yeah I am still sore from yesterday I did tons of lifting and lots of cardio, I am starting to really get the body I want.
Me: Don't talk to me anymore.
Friend: Love you
Me: Love you 18