Why I read the paper.

I LOVE to read the paper! Sorry Tommy I tried to change but I just couldn't do it. So anyway two days ago I was reading the paper and started laughing out loud.

The first story that caught my eye was this one: In order to increase the birth rate in the nation of Singapore they have started teaching formal High School courses on how to flirt. The course includes love song analysis and how to chat online. Says one student: "My teacher said if a guy looks into my eyes for more than five seconds, it could mean that he is attracted to me, and I stand a chance." First of all Yikes! Second of all how can I get signed up for these classes. Do they teacher them distance ed or satellite?

Wait! The second story gets better. It is the very next story on the page. In India they are looking for ways to slow the nation's birthrate so they have instituted this ingenious idea. Men who volunteer for vasectomies will be rewarded with certificates that speed up the process of obtaining a gun permit. The idea is to offset the feelings of lost manhood by replacing it "with a bigger symbol of manliness." Now I am not a guy but which do you think is a bigger symbol of manliness, the ability to reproduce or the ability to shoot a firearm legally? Which still leaves the biggest question unanswered... Who comes up with this stuff?

A few observations

1. It has been what? 40 degrees at the most outside lately? So how come the ladies in sports bras are already out in full force? I saw three at work yesterday! I really thought I had more time to prepare! I asked rob if maybe they just forgot their shirt when they left the house and he said he has the same problem with his pants. Is it just me or do people look better with clothes on?

2. I am currently donating plasma. While in the waiting room I had two fun experiences. One guy came into the waiting room yelling, "this is such a waste of time! Coming to America! What a joke!" Then just a few minutes later another guy comes out of an exam room yelling, "it's not my fault I'm allergic to peanuts! What are you going to do about it?!"

3. My apron at work broke. It made me feel awful chubby when every time I would bend over it would come unsnapped so I went in for a new one and they didn't have anymore so I had to revert back to the vest. It may be bad but the vest makes me feel chubby and I hate it! Enough so that work just isn't the same. I hate that I am some one who lets how attractive she feels effect her day.

My latest playlist

I've been playing a few songs non-stop on my i-pod the past few days to make me feel better. As hard as I try to pretend that I am not a girl about things, as a girl I can't help but love those who claim to love me. In the end I don't think that is a bad thing.

Shut Up and Drive

Shut up and drive

You don't know what you're talking about

He's not the one

You ought to know that by now

You've got one of those hearts

That keeps changing your mind

Your heart has a way of making you stay

So shut up and drive

I'm the voice you never listen to

And I had to break your heart to make you see

That he's the one who will be missing you

And you'll only miss the man

That you wanted him to be

Turn the radio on

To drown out the sound of goodbye

Blink back the tears

Show me you've still got your pride

Just get yourself lost

In a sad country song

Those guys that they play

Know just what to say

Turn the radio on.

Move On

We’re wastin’ all our time and energy it seems

To mend our broken hearts as if they were machines

There ain’t a tool around that could make us tight

Hell I don’t know where all the good times went

Had a pocket full of love now there ain’t nothin’ left but lint

A handful of good times don’t make it right

We’re always sayin’ things that we don’t really mean

Like I love you and I’ll be with you for all eternity

We don’t have that long to work this out

So move on

There ain’t nothing you can do about it

Come on

Love is like a puzzle when the pieces don’t fit

There ain’t nothing you can do about it

and finally the words to my all time favorite dirt band song:

Don't Underestimate Love

You say another love has left you

Feeling sad and insecure

You'd like to think that it's all worth it

But now you're not so sure

Baby just because it's painful

It doesn't mean it's real

Sometimes we're simply desperate

For something to feel, uh-huh

Don't underestimate love

It's the same old bedtime story

The same old dreams of glory

We all hold on to

It's all so beautifully tragic

So painfully romantic

But so far from the truth

Baby I could slay your dragons

But I'd rather set them free

My new nickname

I have had a few nicknames in my time. The most common is Reese. My dad called me Annie maurice as a baby and Katy shortened it to Reese. It actually feels strange to have family or people who know me really well to call me anything but Reese. My littlest brother doesn't even realize that my real name is Annie and none of my brothers can spell it.

I have also been called bird due to a string of unpleasant experiences while working on a landscaping crew. It is also why I am deathly afraid of birds.

My dad also calls me AnnieM, Shmeasle (which is entirely too close to shmeagle for my taste), and Shmeasle Louise.

I have also been called sunshine, smiles, happy, and well... an idiot.

Today I was trying to defend my good name at work.

Kevin said "Ok Annie I think the word we would all use to describe you is exotic."

It stuck... Oh crap!

Red Box Adventure

Once upon a time I had an amazing adventure at my local redbox.

I, unlike everyone else in line, had looked up the red box online and found the movie I wanted. I also checked to make sure they had that particular movie at that particular kiosk. I walked into the Albertson's by my home and was excited because there was only four other people in line. The first two girls were in huge heels and had sequined bags that were almost as big as they were. They literally took a hundred zillion years to pick out their movie. Then the next girl could not for the life of her figure out how to return the movie. But my favorite lady was the lady who kept pushing the pictures of the movie that were posted on the sign next to the machine and yelling that it was broken. Oh and don't forget the lady who was eating a bucket of fried chicken, throwing the bones into her cart and wiping her hands on her pants.

Why I am Anti-Crush

It has been brought to my attention that when I said I was anti-crush in my 100 things about me I came across as negative. I don't mean to be at all. I think being anti-crush is actually quite healthy. Let me explain:

When girls get full blown crushes it is bad bad bad. We obsess about the guy. Then when he asks someone else out we are heartbroken. We really have no right to be. In many instances he has never even expressed a real interest in us.

My first crush was on a guy named Matthew Anderson. He was in my ward and he was a deacon when I was still a mia maid. I thought he was SO grown up. My mom use to help me figure out where to have the family sit in Sacrament meeting so he would pass to us. I moved away and he wrote to me for awhile.

Then I had my big "celebrity crush" He was a country singer with that hair cut that was really big back then. The long on top and parted down the middle cut. He sang some good songs, all county. He sang someone else's star and I'm not suppose to love you anymore. He married some trashy soap opera star and no one has heard from him sense. His last two albums were awful. My Dad drove me hours to one of his concerts. I was FREAKING out!

Ok then I had a crush on Dave Shipp. He was my best friend's older brother. He was the lead in the High School musical every year and my high school had a Dave Shipp fan club that basically consisted of a bunch of girls conniving way to get to spend time with him. I never joined. I got to see him all the time at church and when I was hanging out with Kristen. I use to analyze EVERYTHING he did and said to see if he was interested. He is married with two kids now.

Then I had a crush on Sterling. I still wonder why. We were actually rather good friends and would have been much better friends if I didn't have a crush on him. See having a crush on him crippled me. I couldn't be myself around him because I was so worried about impressing him.

Bottom line is that I wasn't meant to be with any of those guys. So having a crush really didn't do me any good at all. It just added unneeded stress to my life. The policy is now that I am nice to all the boys I know and when one asks me out I will then and only then begin to look at them as someone I could be "interested" in. It has been awesome. When boys start dating other girls I am genuinely happy for them and better yet I can be myself around them.

A compliment?

So apparently everyone at work thinks I am married. When asked for a reason they never really have one. They just say it seems like I should be. So today in the break room, after our discussion on chicken and waffles, it was brought up again. Apparently the consensus is that I just need to find someone who will enhance my personality, and apparently that won't be easy to come by. I'm not completely sure how to take that....