Friday

Why I am Anti-Crush

It has been brought to my attention that when I said I was anti-crush in my 100 things about me I came across as negative. I don't mean to be at all. I think being anti-crush is actually quite healthy. Let me explain:

When girls get full blown crushes it is bad bad bad. We obsess about the guy. Then when he asks someone else out we are heartbroken. We really have no right to be. In many instances he has never even expressed a real interest in us.

My first crush was on a guy named Matthew Anderson. He was in my ward and he was a deacon when I was still a mia maid. I thought he was SO grown up. My mom use to help me figure out where to have the family sit in Sacrament meeting so he would pass to us. I moved away and he wrote to me for awhile.

Then I had my big "celebrity crush" He was a country singer with that hair cut that was really big back then. The long on top and parted down the middle cut. He sang some good songs, all county. He sang someone else's star and I'm not suppose to love you anymore. He married some trashy soap opera star and no one has heard from him sense. His last two albums were awful. My Dad drove me hours to one of his concerts. I was FREAKING out!

Ok then I had a crush on Dave Shipp. He was my best friend's older brother. He was the lead in the High School musical every year and my high school had a Dave Shipp fan club that basically consisted of a bunch of girls conniving way to get to spend time with him. I never joined. I got to see him all the time at church and when I was hanging out with Kristen. I use to analyze EVERYTHING he did and said to see if he was interested. He is married with two kids now.

Then I had a crush on Sterling. I still wonder why. We were actually rather good friends and would have been much better friends if I didn't have a crush on him. See having a crush on him crippled me. I couldn't be myself around him because I was so worried about impressing him.

Bottom line is that I wasn't meant to be with any of those guys. So having a crush really didn't do me any good at all. It just added unneeded stress to my life. The policy is now that I am nice to all the boys I know and when one asks me out I will then and only then begin to look at them as someone I could be "interested" in. It has been awesome. When boys start dating other girls I am genuinely happy for them and better yet I can be myself around them.

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