I was so stressed out last week. There were so many little things going on that from the outside looking in may have seemed trivial. In fact from the inside looking in they seemed trivial, and part of why I was so stressed was that I couldn't figure out why I was so stressed about nothing.
So I am sitting in my car, stressing obviously, and I reach for my phone and start scrolling through it for my mom's cell phone number. I'll just give her a call and she'll make it all better I thought. It was only a few seconds later when I realized I couldn't call her that I broke down. I have days all the time when I need her and want to talk to her but it crushed me that after 5 years for some reason that was still my very first reaction. Like I could pick up the phone, no problem, and get to chat with her until everything was better.
So later in the day I was still shaken and very sad so I sent out a text to a few friends. I didn't tell them the particulars but I believe I said I was stressed, and wanted to cry. I am so grateful for one young man who called within a few minutes. He found out I hadn't eaten all day and made sure I fixed that. He listened why I told him all the little insignificant things that had gone wrong, and when I told him about mom and I cried, he just let me cry. Then he made me laugh. My spirits were instantly lifted.
However it wasn't until later that evening when I was home laying on the couch and wondering why it felt like I was having a stroke that I remembered something my dad told me recently. "The worst that your life can ever get is that you need to come home." Wait? That's the worst? That doesn't seem too bad. The very worst thing that could happen to me is that I would have to go home. Now don't worry dad I'm not considering it, but it really snapped everything back into perspective for me. I have such a good life and have been so blessed. I often watch the homeless man leave the dumpster behind our office building in the morning and think to myself why don't these people just go home?
I may not have my mommy here with me. And for the rest of my life I may have days like this where I desperately need to give her a call. But I still have an amazing daddy who loves me. I have the greatest family a girl could ask for, and I have amazing friends. Zacula, you dropped everything to listen to my stupid, insignificant, trivial problems and I love you for it. But more than all of this combined I love my Heavenly Father for blessing me with ALL of the amazing people who surround me, for giving me a safe place I can call home. If the very worst that can happen to me is that I have to go home to a family that loves me and cares about me then what do I ever really have to worry about?