Ode to the couches in my life...

Aren't couches the best? They are in every home in American.... in some shape, size, smell, and state of disarray. It's where I've taken the best naps, had my first kiss, watched my favorite shows, listen to mom read to us, have family scriptures, and kneel in front of for family prayers. When I was growing up it was the only place my stuffed animals were safe from the lava, and it was base when we played with dad, (if you were on the couch when the timer went off you didn't get blown to smithereens )

My dad has the greatest couch in the world. I was living at home for the summer and I gave up my bed for a relative that was in town. I never went back to my bed! That first night on the couch I slept like I have never slept before! I woke up crazy relaxed and just… Wow it is hard to even describe. It was like the sun was brighter and the birds sang better. Dad was always irritated by it because he would want to watch the news in the morning and I was always on the best couch. Then Mike moved in with us and he got the couch. It still smells like cigarettes.*** My perfect couch is no longer perfect!

We have two couches in the front room at home. Okay try to remember here that my family isn’t trashy at all.* Anyway my family is moving into town and Dad didn’t want to move the couches…. So he burned them. That’s right he built a huge bon-fire and chucked the couches in. Apparently, as both we and the neighbors learned,** they burn with a very thick black smoke. Don’t even worry about how he also tossed on a desk, an entertainment center, and all his tax records. Okay not the tax records

In my current apartment we have two couches. The first we call the see saw couch. One of Katy’s friends gave it to us and you would always fall into the middle of it. So I put one of the table leaves under the cushions to give some support to the couch. Unfortunately if you are sitting on it and someone sits on the other side who weighs more than you… up you go. It is even worse when they aren’t aware of the situation so they sit down hard! The other couch we call the “F-ton.” We bought it from Target for like 50 bucks when we moved in because we had nowhere to sit. It is black and all the white stuffing is always coming out of it so it looks like we have a poodle that likes to make out on the couch. And it has a HUGE bar in the back of it that is basically the reason I plan on having chronic back problems.

I had a white suede couch in a house I lived in during college. Oh college couches…. I had an ex boyfriend that non of my friends cared for. One night they all went to a party and I staid home and somehow he ended up on my couch. The problem came in trying to hide from my roommates what had transpired that night. You see I was wearing red pants and mysteriously enough that stupid white suede couch had picked up a pinkish hue. Although I’m not sure how in the world I though I was going to be able to hide it from Linds anyway.

In the next house I lived in we had a neighbor who had some problems with what is and what is not ok to do in public. So one day he stops by to chat on his way home from class.**** During our 20 minute conversation he picked his nose I would say at least ten times. He would look at it and then WIPE IT ON MY COUCH! He went home and my friend and I carried the couch out to the curb.

Speaking of... I think my couch is calling my name. I think a quick nap is in order before I go out tonight.

*note the sarcasm and my blog entitled white trash with money.
** You can’t see another house from our place, but they could sure see the smoke.
*** Both legal and otherwise.
****He had a crush on my best friend who was over hanging out.


  1. Wow I loved playing lava with all my stuffed animals!!! and YO YO would save them all with her leash!!

  2. Haha I like the one where the couch turned pink.. that wasn't the 3 hour one was it?

  3. Ah the creepy not so white dingy couch. The things we both did on the couch. :) Good times.

  4. That made me laugh :) It's good to know there's a reason why you keep those couches around.

  5. Katy: I forgot about YO YO. I remember standing on Dad's feet and having him walk us to safety.

    Marcie: I guess I would have to say.. which three hour time...

    Linds: I would also like to bring to your attention things that happened on the hammock.

    Matt: We keep our current couches around simply because we are cheap.