We had to wait for Dave to get off work so we could go to dinner. It was later in the evening and someone was getting a little whiny. So when we saw Dave pull up we grabbed our shoes and headed out the door to meet him. We were outside not even a minute later.
But where was Dave? We mingled by the car...No Dave.
"Maybe he is finishing a private phone call?" Still no Dave.
"Is that his truck?"
"I'm not certain, but what are the chances that a truck just like his pulls up at our house exactly when we are expecting Dave?"
No Dave
"Someone go look in his truck."
"Don't get too close, if he is in there that will be super awkward."
No Dave
"Maybe he is peeing in the bushes?"
"Does he know it's totally okay to use our bathroom?"
No Dave
"Maybe he wanted to go make friends with a chicken."
"Maybe he ran over a chicken and is taking it to it's owner."
No Dave
"Maybe he went to the wrong house."
"I've been looking in all the windows and I don't see him."
No Dave
"Call him."
"He answered and we got cut off."
"Call him again."
"He hung up on me again."
"Do I need to call 911? Maybe he was kidnapped?"
No Dave
"JP go look in the woods and see if he is hiding from us."
"Is this some kind of joke?"
"Where could he possibly be?"
No Dave
"Maybe there was a free bookcase on the road and he went back to get it."
"Why wouldn't he just stop and throw it in his truck?"
No Dave
"Go look in his truck again, maybe he passed out in it."
"He isn't in there."
"How well did you really look?"
"He isn't in there."
No Dave
"I'm going to start knocking on neighbor's doors."
No Dave
Guess where Dave was?
I will just tell you.
He was doing his home teaching.
Well technically, he had already done his home teaching but he wanted to make sure that this inactive member knew that we had no church meetings on Sunday... Just in case they wanted to show up this week.
Don't worry we still had plenty of time to overeat and watch Boise State's touchdown.
"Wait, you thought I went into a neighbor's house and didn't realize I was in the wrong house and was just hanging out waiting for you to be ready to go?"
"Yeah I guess we didn't really think that option all the way through."
Saturday
Friday
How to of the Day
You know... just to see if there was anything I was missing.
It said:
Participate is subtle flirting
Be mysterious
Keep him wanting more
Be considerate and kind
Be a positive force in his life
Don't force it.
Yep, sounds pretty much what my mom taught me my entire life.
Now I just need to find a man to practice them on.
P.S. I think I may need to start writing my own "how to of the day"... or maybe week to be realistic. I think it is a good idea... imparting of my vast knowledge to those who are lacking.
Thursday
The Best Friends
The Dad: Why did you invite your friends over when the house is a mess?!
C: Why didn't you put a shirt on when you came downstairs?
The Dad: Well because it is just THEM!
C: Exactly.
C: Why didn't you put a shirt on when you came downstairs?
The Dad: Well because it is just THEM!
C: Exactly.
Wednesday
Eating Alone
I am reading this book titled What We Eat When We Eat Alone. It is very interesting. Some of the things people say they eat when they eat alone are disgusting such as, mustard on a tortilla with coffee grounds. Yick! Or Old bread dipped in whiskey and ketchup, not my thing. Or grilled cheese with Jalapeno Jelly, which I might try if someone made one, but I certainly wouldn't go out of my way.
Some people's confessions sounded delicious though. My favorite was the potatoes sliced thin, fried, then eaten with a sauce made from Greek yogurt, feta cheese, and mustard. Or a baked sweet potato with goat cheese and butter. That all sounds like I need to try it.
It has me thinking about what I eat when I eat alone. These are some of my favorites:
Some people's confessions sounded delicious though. My favorite was the potatoes sliced thin, fried, then eaten with a sauce made from Greek yogurt, feta cheese, and mustard. Or a baked sweet potato with goat cheese and butter. That all sounds like I need to try it.
It has me thinking about what I eat when I eat alone. These are some of my favorites:
- Boiled eggs smothered in spicy guacamole, on wheat toast
- "Hot date wraps" consisting of; a whole wheat tortilla, spicy pickle, horseradish, and roast beef
- A corn tortilla broiled, with a few pickled jalapenos and cheese
- Mac and cheese with tomato soup mixed in
- Tortilla and hummus
- A can of Tuna with dill, and salt and vinegar chips
- Popcorn with red pepper and Parmesan cheese
- Chopped cucumbers and tomatoes with feta cheese, and Greek spices
- Cherry tomatoes and pepperoni
What do you eat when you eat alone? I would love to hear about everyone's delightful and strange concoctions.
Seriously....
Tuesday
The Desperately Desperate and Lonely Hearts Club
I am mean, I know it. If that bothers you, probably don't read the rest of this post. I will be ranting again about dating and such.
I went with a couple of friends to an over 25 single adult institute class. For those of you not familiar with the LDS lingo, institute is a scripture study program for the college age young adult. I attended while at Utah State and I learned so much about the gospel and myself. We had amazing teachers and fellow students who created an environment of learning. I learned so much, and I couldn't get enough of it. Some semesters I had 3 institute classes.
Last night I had enough after 20 minutes.
It started with a guy on the front row who replied to the teachers query about the date with, "I know today is the 11th because tomorrow is the 12th and I have a date! I haven't been on a date since 1999!" Oh goodness, we were in for a long night. We spent the first 35 or more minutes discussing how a prophet is called. Don't get me wrong, that is important to know, but isn't there maybe a primary song or something that illustrates that? I was frustrated that in a class specifically designed for those of us who are older, the curriculum hadn't been altered to reflect that. I could have easily been in a seminary class. (Seminary = same thing for high schoolers) My roommate passed me a note that said "milk before meat but we don't need formula." I laughed, the teacher glared.
Now I agree that men should be interested in a girl with a mind. Someone who understand the gospel and enjoys learning, and can teach it to your children. But ladies, just because you sit up front and answer EVERY SINGLE question the teacher asks before he even finishes asking it, does not make you any more attractive. Especially rhetorical ones.
We were discussing the parable of the labors in the vineyard. We were bracing ourselves for someone to make this lesson about dating and we were not disappointed. "I just feel like some of us are the laborers who are at the last hour and haven't been picked, you know in dating. I just think it is so important that we realize that we won't find a man until we don't want one." I was cringing, she was crying. In my opinion there is no truth to that. You are never going to find something you aren't looking for. Just don't be desperate. It can't be all you want, or all you plan for. You can't live a life of anticipation for only one thing and deny yourself true happiness until it is gained. And you have to put your hand down and stop telling every boy in the room, (there were perhaps 6 of them and none of them seemed to be 25 quite yet), that you are desperately desperate.
Oh and all you other ladies who added your tearful comments about how sad you are that you don't date.
PUT YOUR HAND DOWN.
Seriously it is hurting me.
Who attends an institute class where you feel like you learn something, and or feel strengthened in your testimony as you leave at the end of class? Please take me with you!
I went with a couple of friends to an over 25 single adult institute class. For those of you not familiar with the LDS lingo, institute is a scripture study program for the college age young adult. I attended while at Utah State and I learned so much about the gospel and myself. We had amazing teachers and fellow students who created an environment of learning. I learned so much, and I couldn't get enough of it. Some semesters I had 3 institute classes.
Last night I had enough after 20 minutes.
It started with a guy on the front row who replied to the teachers query about the date with, "I know today is the 11th because tomorrow is the 12th and I have a date! I haven't been on a date since 1999!" Oh goodness, we were in for a long night. We spent the first 35 or more minutes discussing how a prophet is called. Don't get me wrong, that is important to know, but isn't there maybe a primary song or something that illustrates that? I was frustrated that in a class specifically designed for those of us who are older, the curriculum hadn't been altered to reflect that. I could have easily been in a seminary class. (Seminary = same thing for high schoolers) My roommate passed me a note that said "milk before meat but we don't need formula." I laughed, the teacher glared.
Now I agree that men should be interested in a girl with a mind. Someone who understand the gospel and enjoys learning, and can teach it to your children. But ladies, just because you sit up front and answer EVERY SINGLE question the teacher asks before he even finishes asking it, does not make you any more attractive. Especially rhetorical ones.
We were discussing the parable of the labors in the vineyard. We were bracing ourselves for someone to make this lesson about dating and we were not disappointed. "I just feel like some of us are the laborers who are at the last hour and haven't been picked, you know in dating. I just think it is so important that we realize that we won't find a man until we don't want one." I was cringing, she was crying. In my opinion there is no truth to that. You are never going to find something you aren't looking for. Just don't be desperate. It can't be all you want, or all you plan for. You can't live a life of anticipation for only one thing and deny yourself true happiness until it is gained. And you have to put your hand down and stop telling every boy in the room, (there were perhaps 6 of them and none of them seemed to be 25 quite yet), that you are desperately desperate.
Oh and all you other ladies who added your tearful comments about how sad you are that you don't date.
PUT YOUR HAND DOWN.
Seriously it is hurting me.
Who attends an institute class where you feel like you learn something, and or feel strengthened in your testimony as you leave at the end of class? Please take me with you!
Monday
Thursday
Kurt
We are hiring part time in our warehouse again.
It is almost impossible to find good help.
But the other day we hired someone.
The next day someone called to apply who sounded perfect.
I wrote his name down and asked him to send in a resume anyway.
Today we fired the new hire and I was desperately digging through my trash for the name and number of the perfect man who had called. I knew it was on a yellow post it note so when I found this note in my trash I called it up!
Me: Hi is this Kurt?
K: Yeah
Me: This is Annie with ______. Were you the one who called to apply for a job?
K: No not me.
Me: Well why the heck do I have your number on this post it note on my desk?
K: I think I want to take you on a date.
Me: Do you need a job?
K: Uh maybe... what does it pay?
Oh Kurt.... Thanks, but no thanks. Back to the trash you go.
It is almost impossible to find good help.
But the other day we hired someone.
The next day someone called to apply who sounded perfect.
I wrote his name down and asked him to send in a resume anyway.
Today we fired the new hire and I was desperately digging through my trash for the name and number of the perfect man who had called. I knew it was on a yellow post it note so when I found this note in my trash I called it up!
K: Yeah
Me: This is Annie with ______. Were you the one who called to apply for a job?
K: No not me.
Me: Well why the heck do I have your number on this post it note on my desk?
K: I think I want to take you on a date.
Me: Do you need a job?
K: Uh maybe... what does it pay?
Oh Kurt.... Thanks, but no thanks. Back to the trash you go.
Wednesday
The Phantom
Me: So I was Facebook stalking you and realized we share a common friend.
G: Oh really? Who?
Me: *** but we call him The Phantom. How do you know him?
G: He was in my ward once. How do you know him?
Me: I have a crush on him!
G: Very good, I approve. You know the first time I met him we were carving pumpkins and everyone had their little carving knife out. But he busted out a drill and started going to town on that pumpkin. He carved Superman in it.
Me: Why is this man not my best friend?
G: Oh really? Who?
Me: *** but we call him The Phantom. How do you know him?
G: He was in my ward once. How do you know him?
Me: I have a crush on him!
G: Very good, I approve. You know the first time I met him we were carving pumpkins and everyone had their little carving knife out. But he busted out a drill and started going to town on that pumpkin. He carved Superman in it.
Me: Why is this man not my best friend?
Tuesday
I Choose to be Offended
Aunt : I was wondering if you could come visit this afternoon.
Me: Probably not today, but maybe I could stop by tomorrow sometime.
A:Well I want you to meet a boy.
M: I don't want to.
A: Well he is a very nice boy, and I really like his family.
M: The problem is Aunt S, that you like EVERYONE, and I like hardly anyone.
A: Oh well that isn't true.... is it?
M: Tell me about this guy.
A: Well if I had to guess I would say he is probably REAL good at computers.
M: *Pause* Maybe I can get my roommate or a friend or someone to come with me to make it less awkward.
A: Well whatever you need to make it less awkward dear.
My roommate, who was totally available, refused to go with me and left the house to avoid having me ask her about it. I had to go it alone. I tried so hard to get out of it. But my aunt is too nice to be mean to.
Have you ever had someone set you up on a date and when they show up you are kind of offended that someone who claims to know you well thought you would be a good match? Well he showed up, he was about 5ft, long unkempt beard. He was wearing a red Shopko uniform polo shirt, he doesn't work at Shopko, he just thought that was a good look. She was also wearing white, falling apart, velcro shoes. Oh and he was really good at computers.
I spent the whole time teasing my aunt about how much she wants me to repent. I had my aunt in stitches and the young man thinking I was a degenerate for sure. My uncle fell asleep and would occasionally wake up to insert his agreement that I repent.
I am not opposed to the set up. But maybe I could set a few guidelines.
*Good hygiene, including clean clothes
*Some sense of humor
*A job
*LDS
* Ability to live independently. He can live at home to save money, I mean someone who has the physical ability to live alone.
Please bless I can have at least these things. That's a fair request right? Why does my Auntie like to set me up with people who don't meet these qualifications?
Me: Probably not today, but maybe I could stop by tomorrow sometime.
A:Well I want you to meet a boy.
M: I don't want to.
A: Well he is a very nice boy, and I really like his family.
M: The problem is Aunt S, that you like EVERYONE, and I like hardly anyone.
A: Oh well that isn't true.... is it?
M: Tell me about this guy.
A: Well if I had to guess I would say he is probably REAL good at computers.
M: *Pause* Maybe I can get my roommate or a friend or someone to come with me to make it less awkward.
A: Well whatever you need to make it less awkward dear.
My roommate, who was totally available, refused to go with me and left the house to avoid having me ask her about it. I had to go it alone. I tried so hard to get out of it. But my aunt is too nice to be mean to.
Have you ever had someone set you up on a date and when they show up you are kind of offended that someone who claims to know you well thought you would be a good match? Well he showed up, he was about 5ft, long unkempt beard. He was wearing a red Shopko uniform polo shirt, he doesn't work at Shopko, he just thought that was a good look. She was also wearing white, falling apart, velcro shoes. Oh and he was really good at computers.
I spent the whole time teasing my aunt about how much she wants me to repent. I had my aunt in stitches and the young man thinking I was a degenerate for sure. My uncle fell asleep and would occasionally wake up to insert his agreement that I repent.
I am not opposed to the set up. But maybe I could set a few guidelines.
*Good hygiene, including clean clothes
*Some sense of humor
*A job
*LDS
* Ability to live independently. He can live at home to save money, I mean someone who has the physical ability to live alone.
Please bless I can have at least these things. That's a fair request right? Why does my Auntie like to set me up with people who don't meet these qualifications?
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