After FHE tonight we stopped by the Wal-Mart to pick up a few things. The first sign that this was going to be a good night happened when we were walking in past the cash registers and Lolly decided that it would be a good time to "adjust" things. So I yell at her and say "Woman you have to keep those things tucked in, the Wal-Mart employees are enjoying a free show!" The Wal-Mart employee, Ray, then says "thanks we really appreciate it." So Lolly turns bright red and we take off to another part of the store.
That is when we run into our new best friend Kenny Rogers. Yes that is his real name. He was there to buy, as Kenny Rogers calls them, nanners. Anyway, Lolly starts putting her food into his cart and I ask her if she plans on going home with Mr. Rogers. He laughs and says he is sure he will hear her around.
That is when we start talking about which one of us should be in love with Kenny Rogers and we vote on Katy. She can now choose between the Peruvian Prince and a country music super star. GO KATY!
We walked ALL OVER the place tonight because no one knew what they wanted. So we were once again passing the cash registers and one of the cashiers was standing there trying to wave us over and Lolly tells him that she loves him and we will be back to visit him after we finish our shopping. I flashed him the heart sign and he turned bright red.
So we are all checked out and leaving the store and we are passing the deli and the lady is packing everything up in bags so I made Lolly ask if it was discounted. When she said yes it was half off I went and grabbed a bag of Wal-Mart chicken and a bag of Jalapeno Poppers. Dude Wal-Mart Boneless wings are SOOO good! The new check out guy doesn't take the 50% off and so I tell him and he re-rings it up half price. Problem is he never voided the old stuff so he sends me off to customer service to get a refund for my Wal-Mart chicken. Don't worry about how while we are leaving the register Katy flashes Geoff, the cashier, her bedroom eyes and he turns BRIGHT red!
All three of us head over there and who is at customer service? Ray! When we walk in to customer service he says, "We were just talking about you!" So I'm trying to get my refund and Lolly is battering the customer service guy with questions about what ALL of Wal-Mart now knows about her. He gives out no information though and we turn to leave and Katy says that she just really wants to see Ray again and don't worry he came around the corner right then. He points at Katy and says she is trouble, and I say "but it isn't her that you got to know intimately" and he yells "Nope that was the girl in the middle!"
Thanks, girl in the middle. That Wal-Mart is still talking about us for sure.
Friday
The Bathroom Situation
The bathroom in my downtown office has the best smelling hand soap ever! I am not even kidding, I am seriously in love with it. In fact, most days I will wait to use the bathroom until I am back in the downtown office just for that reason.
Unfortunately everyday, sometime around noon, (which is about the time I get back to the office)someone renders the bathroom unusable. I walk down the hall all happy and almost skipping thinking about the wonderful smell that awaits me and I open the door and BAM it hits me! I'm not talking it kind of smells and the air freshener is half way covering it. I mean the bathroom CANNOT be used for at least a good hour or more.
Everyday it is a race to the bathroom. I try to get there early enough to avoid this unpleasant situation. I make it only about half the time. I have tried hanging around to see if I can figure out who the culprit is. I have tried to watch the patterns and see if when there is a few incident free days in a row if someone, suspiciously, is on vacation. I thought I had it figured out, I really did, and then this person was out for a week for surgery and it still happened!
ARRRGG! All I want is to be able to use the restroom with the good soap. Maybe I should just switch them. But if I did that I would never find out who is robbing me of such pleasure every day, and they win. They can't win. I will get to the bottom of this. (No pun intended)
Unfortunately everyday, sometime around noon, (which is about the time I get back to the office)someone renders the bathroom unusable. I walk down the hall all happy and almost skipping thinking about the wonderful smell that awaits me and I open the door and BAM it hits me! I'm not talking it kind of smells and the air freshener is half way covering it. I mean the bathroom CANNOT be used for at least a good hour or more.
Everyday it is a race to the bathroom. I try to get there early enough to avoid this unpleasant situation. I make it only about half the time. I have tried hanging around to see if I can figure out who the culprit is. I have tried to watch the patterns and see if when there is a few incident free days in a row if someone, suspiciously, is on vacation. I thought I had it figured out, I really did, and then this person was out for a week for surgery and it still happened!
ARRRGG! All I want is to be able to use the restroom with the good soap. Maybe I should just switch them. But if I did that I would never find out who is robbing me of such pleasure every day, and they win. They can't win. I will get to the bottom of this. (No pun intended)
I've often thought this same thing....
Thanks Stephan Pastis for posting this on your blog. I agree and couldn't have put it better myself.
My Depression, and the Grocery Stores that Cause It
September 28, 2009
A democracy is only as strong as its people are smart.
And that’s why grocery shopping depresses me.
You see, Staci hands me a big list every Sunday and I go and get the things on the list. I view it as a scavenger hunt, so that part’s not depressing.
The depressing part is the checkout stand.
I don’t know much about retail, but I know that the area immediately adjacent to the register is the most valuable real estate in the store, because that is where people make their impulse buys. So stores need to fill it with stuff that is sure to sell.
So each week I stare at that space.
And that’s where I get sad.
Because what people are buying is telling them the following:
Jessica Simpson is on the verge of a nervous breakdown because something ate her poodle.
George W. Bush is suicidal.
Whitney is exploding at Oprah.
And a photographer hid in the bushes to catch a dying Patrick Swayze as he left the hospital for the last time.
And those were just the periodicals.
On the right of me was all the food that has caused our current health care crisis.
So the things that sell best are the things that make us fat and the things that make us stupid.
The day I’ll be optimistic will be the day that there are impulse apples on the left of me, and F. Scott Fitzgerald books on the right of me.
Until then, we’ll get the government we deserve.
Stephan Pastis is the cartoonist for Pearls Before Swine. His blog is located here: http://stephanpastis.wordpress.com
My Depression, and the Grocery Stores that Cause It
September 28, 2009
A democracy is only as strong as its people are smart.
And that’s why grocery shopping depresses me.
You see, Staci hands me a big list every Sunday and I go and get the things on the list. I view it as a scavenger hunt, so that part’s not depressing.
The depressing part is the checkout stand.
I don’t know much about retail, but I know that the area immediately adjacent to the register is the most valuable real estate in the store, because that is where people make their impulse buys. So stores need to fill it with stuff that is sure to sell.
So each week I stare at that space.
And that’s where I get sad.
Because what people are buying is telling them the following:
Jessica Simpson is on the verge of a nervous breakdown because something ate her poodle.
George W. Bush is suicidal.
Whitney is exploding at Oprah.
And a photographer hid in the bushes to catch a dying Patrick Swayze as he left the hospital for the last time.
And those were just the periodicals.
On the right of me was all the food that has caused our current health care crisis.
So the things that sell best are the things that make us fat and the things that make us stupid.
The day I’ll be optimistic will be the day that there are impulse apples on the left of me, and F. Scott Fitzgerald books on the right of me.
Until then, we’ll get the government we deserve.
Stephan Pastis is the cartoonist for Pearls Before Swine. His blog is located here: http://stephanpastis.wordpress.com
List for Bishop
Bishop heard me talking about what makes a man sexy the other day and I promised him a list of 13 things as well as a copy of Katy's 13, which are very similar (we are sisters).
So here they are in no particular order:
1. There is nothing hotter than a man that's hot on the Gospel. A man that goes to his meetings, does his home teaching, volunteers every time its our ward's turn to take the sacrament to the hospital. HOT! This is a man who is already my hero and will be his sons first hero.
2. When he drives your car. HOT! You feel safe enough to hand the keys over and you get to take your place as the shotgun rider. It makes you feel like he's in control, your safe, and you are symbolicly taking the place you want in his life as companion, helpful navigator, and caretaker of everyone in the back seat.
3. As far as clothing goes I have been a sucker for the grey pin stripe since high school. YES PLEASE! I also have a hard time resisting a man in a big soft sweater. It just screams I need you to rest your head right here. Okay! I am also a sucker for a man in periwinkle blue. Okay I'm getting goosebumps. That light blue color will stop me in my tracks. Moving on...
4. I like my men a little chubby. Not obese, I want to live a long and healthy life with him. However, I want to feel safe and protected by a man. I want to feel cute and feminine. I just don't feel that way with skinny boys.
5. I love gender roles! Ask me to sew on a button, and you can open the pickle jar. Sometimes you need a man around the house and it's so hot when he is there to be just that.
6. I love a man's hands. These are the hands that will bless my babies and rock them to sleep. There is nothing in particular I love or dislike about their appearance, I just look at them and know. You don't need a manicure or anything in fact, rough hands can be very hot.
7. My favorite thing in the world is having my hair touched. When they brush it off your face, or tuck a stray wisp behind your ear, or really anything. Part of it is that it shows a tender side to them, but really if their hands are in contact with my hair in anyway I am done for.
8. When they remember your details. If I've told a guy 9 times that I hate chocolate and then he buys me a box, that's sweet but not hot. Now when he shows up with a diet coke and a bag of spicy Cheetos he is now the hottest man alive.
9. When he says your name. The difference between. "I really appreciate that" and "Annie, I really appreciate that" is huge! Saying my name means. what you are saying is about me only, it means you want my attention, it means I am what is on your mind. I want you to be comfortable saying that name everyday, and to enjoy saying it as much as I enjoy hearing it. An added element for me is using my nickname. My family never uses my real name and so when you use my nickname it feels like you see me, at least a little, through their eyes.
10. When they love and show respect for their moms. It shows the respect they have for the calling of being a mom. You feel safe in knowing they will love, respect, and support you in your own calling as such. It is also a good gauge of how they feel about women in general and a good sign of how I can expect to be treated.
10. When they make me laugh. I make people laugh all the time. There are a lot of fun guys out there but it is rare to find one who will make me laugh. It means that in the future when we have hard times that he will be able to make me laugh. That when we are old we won't just sit around doing the crossword and reading The Ensign. I want to still be able to make each other laugh.
12. When he can say I'm sorry. listen I find that for me I have to say it ALL THE TIME. The ability to be wrong is huge and a rare quality among, well really anyone. It shows me pride can be swallowed.
13. I LOVE it when they have a bed head. When their hair is a little tosseled, yes please! Lolly just reminded me that I love curly hair. This is very true. Curly hair makes me weak in the knees. Why do boys with curly hair always try to hide it? This is sad for me.
So here they are in no particular order:
1. There is nothing hotter than a man that's hot on the Gospel. A man that goes to his meetings, does his home teaching, volunteers every time its our ward's turn to take the sacrament to the hospital. HOT! This is a man who is already my hero and will be his sons first hero.
2. When he drives your car. HOT! You feel safe enough to hand the keys over and you get to take your place as the shotgun rider. It makes you feel like he's in control, your safe, and you are symbolicly taking the place you want in his life as companion, helpful navigator, and caretaker of everyone in the back seat.
3. As far as clothing goes I have been a sucker for the grey pin stripe since high school. YES PLEASE! I also have a hard time resisting a man in a big soft sweater. It just screams I need you to rest your head right here. Okay! I am also a sucker for a man in periwinkle blue. Okay I'm getting goosebumps. That light blue color will stop me in my tracks. Moving on...
4. I like my men a little chubby. Not obese, I want to live a long and healthy life with him. However, I want to feel safe and protected by a man. I want to feel cute and feminine. I just don't feel that way with skinny boys.
5. I love gender roles! Ask me to sew on a button, and you can open the pickle jar. Sometimes you need a man around the house and it's so hot when he is there to be just that.
6. I love a man's hands. These are the hands that will bless my babies and rock them to sleep. There is nothing in particular I love or dislike about their appearance, I just look at them and know. You don't need a manicure or anything in fact, rough hands can be very hot.
7. My favorite thing in the world is having my hair touched. When they brush it off your face, or tuck a stray wisp behind your ear, or really anything. Part of it is that it shows a tender side to them, but really if their hands are in contact with my hair in anyway I am done for.
8. When they remember your details. If I've told a guy 9 times that I hate chocolate and then he buys me a box, that's sweet but not hot. Now when he shows up with a diet coke and a bag of spicy Cheetos he is now the hottest man alive.
9. When he says your name. The difference between. "I really appreciate that" and "Annie, I really appreciate that" is huge! Saying my name means. what you are saying is about me only, it means you want my attention, it means I am what is on your mind. I want you to be comfortable saying that name everyday, and to enjoy saying it as much as I enjoy hearing it. An added element for me is using my nickname. My family never uses my real name and so when you use my nickname it feels like you see me, at least a little, through their eyes.
10. When they love and show respect for their moms. It shows the respect they have for the calling of being a mom. You feel safe in knowing they will love, respect, and support you in your own calling as such. It is also a good gauge of how they feel about women in general and a good sign of how I can expect to be treated.
10. When they make me laugh. I make people laugh all the time. There are a lot of fun guys out there but it is rare to find one who will make me laugh. It means that in the future when we have hard times that he will be able to make me laugh. That when we are old we won't just sit around doing the crossword and reading The Ensign. I want to still be able to make each other laugh.
12. When he can say I'm sorry. listen I find that for me I have to say it ALL THE TIME. The ability to be wrong is huge and a rare quality among, well really anyone. It shows me pride can be swallowed.
13. I LOVE it when they have a bed head. When their hair is a little tosseled, yes please! Lolly just reminded me that I love curly hair. This is very true. Curly hair makes me weak in the knees. Why do boys with curly hair always try to hide it? This is sad for me.
Wednesday
Yes Please!
I'm walking into the office just now and there is a big jumbo pickup truck parked out front. I stopped to admire it for a second and out of the front door comes too of the hottest. men I have ever seen. They both have dark curly hair, beautiful eyes, and rippling muscles made obvious by the fact that they were bother carrying a very large table.
Just when I thought they couldn't get hotter the one says "hold up that's my mom calling." So with one arm he tosses the table into the truck and redirects his attention to his phone call. Hot!
Just when I thought they couldn't get hotter the one says "hold up that's my mom calling." So with one arm he tosses the table into the truck and redirects his attention to his phone call. Hot!
Tuesday
My not so baby anymore siblings came to visit!
Getting ready for our Pink Princess Tea Party
Simon enjoying the Tea Party
We were looking at "cas" or cars. The kid has a Boston accent. I love that the cat is joining us!
Eating all of Drew's Chili Verde (don't worry Drew I'll make you some more)
But look at how much he loves it, and Drew.
Trying on my favorite hat and having a fashion show
Playing Hide and Seek with Drew and teaching him how to count to 5.
Lolly teaching them how to play soft with the cat. They were in love with the cat!
We had the fabulous tea party pictured above, we spent a couple of nights at Chuck E Cheese that the kids loved! We had a date night, just me and them, we went out for Chinese! We played lots of trucks, read lots of stories, did tons of coloring, cooked up lots of good food, played hide and seek, and learned to count to 5! Lolly and Drew received a lesson in how to play Pirate Princesses, as well as a detailed anatomy lesson. (You are welcome) It was the best week I've had in forever. I wish they lived closer!
I am so grateful to my not so wicked step mom for bringing by babies out to see me. We also really enjoyed visiting with her. I love how much they loved my cat, my roommate and BFF Lolly, and honorary roommate and BFF Drew! Although apparently he is now Madison's boyfriend. I am also gratful to Lolly and Drew for taking the time to get to know some of the most important people in my life.
Monday
Communication
Cheryl: I am so bored, there is just nothing going on in the office today. Of course I forgot to bring a book.
Me: Cheryl, I have a text book in my car you could borrow. It's all about interpersonal communication. It's fascinating!
Cheryl: No thanks I have communication down.
Me: You don't think you could improve your communication with your husband? Or learn to help him communicate better with you? I'm telling you Cheryl it will change your life!
Cheryl: Nah! He's perfected his communication: "What's for breakfast?" "What are you packing for my lunch?" "When will you be home to make dinner?" "Are there any leftovers?" "Do we have any chips?" "Where's the remote?"
Me: Cheryl! I'm going to go get you that book right now before I lose all hope in marriage.
Me: Cheryl, I have a text book in my car you could borrow. It's all about interpersonal communication. It's fascinating!
Cheryl: No thanks I have communication down.
Me: You don't think you could improve your communication with your husband? Or learn to help him communicate better with you? I'm telling you Cheryl it will change your life!
Cheryl: Nah! He's perfected his communication: "What's for breakfast?" "What are you packing for my lunch?" "When will you be home to make dinner?" "Are there any leftovers?" "Do we have any chips?" "Where's the remote?"
Me: Cheryl! I'm going to go get you that book right now before I lose all hope in marriage.
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