The Crazy Lowes Lady (because I promised wade I would)

So this lady comes into Lowes the other day and applies for a credit card which we denied.

She proceeded to the back of the store and ask for an entire appliance package. She wanted the most expensive washer and dryer, refrigerator, and dishwasher. She wanted them all stainless steel and all the small appliances we could find to match. She also told Todd that she wanted a rug that was brown and red with a floral pattern but that she didn't want to pick it out so he needed to go find her one. Oh and she picked up a lawnmower for her mom. The biggest John deere we had.

So she gets up to the register and she has a total of over 15,000 dollars. She asks to put it on her Lowes card and we tell her it was denied. During this whole thing she tries to put it on her Lowes card at least three different times. While at the register she offered to pay one of the ladies a 100 dollars for the flowers her husband had delivered. When she continued to offer more and the other kept refusing she asked for a phone book and called a florist to have 10 bouquets delivered to her home. She said she was hungry and offered to buy lunch for everyone in the store which we also refused. So she made our operator call and order her a pizza to be delivered to her house. She offered to pay 1,000 to someone in the line for their dog. Who also refused and her counter offer was she could have whatever amount she wanted for the dog.

She also asked my manager what her last name was and when she said it was Mendoza she said hers was Hernandez and said Como Estas (pronounced phonetically). Her name was something like johnson and she was a blonde with blue eyes but she thought she was Hernandez apparently. She also turned to a latino couple in line and said "I am Hernandez como estas!" Oh and she offered my manager 50 dollars a night to cook her mexican food.

Let's get to the good part... She tries to run all this on her debit card. Debit cards have limits put on them by the bank. Typically your daily limit isn't over 2,000. So her transaction was denied. So she leaves and we start putting her stuff back on the shelf. She calls. She is on her way back in with cash. She comes in and tosses the cash at the cashier. She is a few thousand short. So she says she'll go get it from her car. She has given her keys to an employee so he can start loading her up and he offers her keys back to her and she says "thats okay I left the window down." She comes back in with another stack of cash and tells the cashier to take whatever she needs out of it.

The delivery guys load up her stuff later that afternoon to take out to her place. They are there setting up all of her appliances and she starts flirting with the Latino delivery guy while the other is unloading everything. Then she starts kissing him and he freaks out and heads out to the truck to call the store. When he walks back in she points a gun at him and says if he ever cheats on him she will shoot him. Then the other delivery guy tries to do something and she puts the gun right on his head and threatens to pull the trigger is he interferes. She then Kisses the latino guy a few more times and they manage to sneak out by pretending she is kidding.

later her kids come into the store and apologize. Apparently she did all this to punish them because they wouldn't take her camping.

The TP dilemma

I am perplexed by toilet paper. With anything else I buy there is that handy dandy per oz price at the bottom to compare. However, with TP I am totally lost. This one is cheapest but how many feet am I getting, and how many ply? Then they have those super rolls that are suppose to be as much TP as two rolls. I am pretty sure I don't believe it and is it the same absorbency of two rolls or the same length? And if It is just more absorbent does that really count? Because it doesn't matter how absorbent it is I am never going to use just a couple of squares. How much extra am I willing to pay for the TP with Aloe?

Anyway tonight I once again found myself lost in the TP aisle confused and staring. What got my attention was a package of Cottonelle that said "Our strongest toilet paper ever." Now I will spring for soft but in what situation do you find yourself where the strength of the TP really comes into play?

My Stick Horse

Tired... Do you ever feel like that? When you feel drained emotionally, physically, even financially. I feel vulnerable admitting it but I have felt that way lately. Exhausted, and the only thing you can do is to keep saying your prayers and hope that Heavenly Father will help you fix things in the way only he can.

Oddly enough my help came in the form of this story from my Wade's blog:

The Stick Horse
One evening when my four-year old sister and I were out walking with Father, Ellen asked him to carry her home. She was just too tired to walk, she said. When he told her that he was tired, too, she began to cry. With out a word, Father took out his knife and cut a small limb from a tree. Handing it to Ellen, he said, “Here’s a fine horse for you to ride.” Ellen hopped astride the stick, and off she galloped- beating us home by a block.

Father laughed. “That’s the way you will find life, he told me. “Sometime you will be so tired mentally or physically that you’ll think you can’t go on. Then you’ll find a stick horse in a form of a friend, a song, a poem, a flower, a baby’s smile- and over the tired spot you’ll gallop.”

Now I am telling my three children that there is a stick horse to carry them over every tired spot in life if they will but look around for it.

--Mrs. T. Edward Brown Posted in the Reader’s Digest- May, 1946

I have a few "stick horses" that without, I would probably have worn myself out long ago.

*The gospel is the one constant I have. It will always be the thing that makes everything all better. No matter what else happens in my life it will be there.

*Going to the park and swinging. I don't care how sad or down or tired I am that one things make the world something I can face again.

*Singing a primary song. The simple lyrics and truths in those songs make me feel like an idiot for ever feeling that life should be anything different than I imagined it would be in primary.

*When my dog knows I am feeling down and curls up in my lap all night long. There are only three men I have ever let see me cry and he is not only one of them, but the best for drying tears.

*A friend who genuinely cares. I have a million of them whom I love dearly but two jump to mind tonight:
~Wade because he is always there to take my call, listen, and make me laugh all the days. We talk frequently about friendships that feels imbalanced and I want to thank him for keeping ours "balanced."
~Snubs I feel like we are crisis friends. We only call each other when life is out of sorts. Thanks for being patient and sorting it out for me. You are perfect at taking what I am saying and figuring out what I am really saying. You know the me I try to keep hidden and you still love me.

I have no words...

This girl may be THE girl who gives the rest of us ladies a bad name.

One of my BFFs told me this story:
There was this girl he was friends with and took on TWO dates. TWO dates remember that. Anyway she moved far away, to "get over him." But before she left she stopped by to give him a going away present. It was a journal she kept all about him. The back pages contained a list of his "Stats." You know birthday, name of family members, favorite flavor of ice cream, etc. The front pages where all about how she felt about him and how she was falling in love with him.

Grocery shopping

I have a lot of... Umm... Odd things that I do. I am not going to lie. One that causes me a lot of stress is grocery shopping. Okay that is kind of a lie. I actually love grocery shopping but I have this weird thing. I can't let anyone I know see my buying prepackaged food. If I for some reason buy like a box of macaroni and cheese or something I have to hide it under a big thing of grapes or carrots or something in my cart. Even when I put my groceries up on the belt I make sure they stay hidden.

Today I ran to Winco for a few things. I had a beautiful bell pepper, a watermelon, some romaine lettuce, tomatoes that smelled amazing (always make sure your tomatoes smell amazing), some vegetarian corndogs (also amazing), and some chicken. I made the mistake of going while I was hungry and I walked past those cardboard pizzas. Man those things are soo good. They are, themselves, my entire daily caloric intake but I couldn't help myself. I put one in the cart... under the lettuce.

I might have been fine until I ended up in the check out lane with the little old lady on her first day. I wrote a check. I know who still does that? But I did, and she hit cash. At Lowe's no one cares, the cashier just shoves it in her drawer and hopes they have the money. But she went into a panic. It was right then that I saw that she had placed my cardboard indiscretion on top of everything where just anyone could see it. She turns her light to flashing and with pizza in hand starts waving her supervisor over. I wanted to crawl out of there on my hands and knees like I was getting shot at.

Moral of the story: If I ever have a husband he better not like cardboard pizzas. Or if he does he is buying them himself. No wait then people will think that not only do I feed him cardboard but I make him go out and buy it. Darn it.

Bark Odds

So today I was having a text "discussion" with my BFF and so I was super distracted when Katy texted me about making an appointment for us to see the Bishop. I thought I texted her this message: Carl hasn't called me. Did he call you?

Carl is the Executive Secretary and he was suppose to call us back with a time for our appointment. Due to my distraction I didn't change any of the words to the correct ones while texting. so I sent her this message: Bark odds called me. Die if call you.

She claims she got a sick feeling in her stomach and wondered if I had really sent the message. So when I got her following message asking who the heck Bark odds was I was so confused because I didn't know anyone by that name. When I went back and read the text I couldn't stop laughing. I am actually still laughing.