I have been a little obsessed with the Civil War lately. Okay a lot obsessed. Anyway due to my recent obsession I have been thinking a little about one of my favorite movies Gone With the Wind. I know the story isn't what you would call the perfect romance. And yet I love it so much. Why? Because Rhett loves Scarlet. He knows her even better than she does and he absolutely loves her. Isn't that what we all want? Someone who knows us, our faults and our shortcomings and loves us when we burn the waffles, or want to wear yoga pants all day?
I think as women we worry too much about being something someone will love rather than just being the best version of us and waiting patiently until someone sees that version when they look at us. Scarlett makes the same mistake. If you will remember, almost the entire movie she believes she is in love with Ashley. She spends so much energy trying to get him to fall for her that she doesn't even recognize how much Rhett loves her.
I know I have been guilty of this before. Not in the same degree, but for example there was this guy in college that I thought was the most perfect man I had ever met. To be honest I think all the girls in the ward thought the same thing, because when he mentioned a certain perfume he liked I was gagging on it the next week at church. Ha! Okay but I was obsessed. So obsessed in fact that I didn't realize that he was interested in my best friend and his roommate very much liked me. I realize now that I had so much energy focused on this guy that I couldn't see anyone else in my life clearly. Sadly enough this was not the last time I let "the perfect man" cloud my perception of others, and even myself.
In the end why would we want to settle for Ashley? Someone who likes you but doesn't love you as completely as you deserve. We have to let go of our Ashelys and look for our Rhetts. Who I feel will be found in unexpected places and faces.
One other thought. When I say I want someone who loves me just as I am I don't exactly mean that either. Because to expect just that is to say I am perfect the way I am. I don't want someone who doesn't anticipate that there is a better me to come. I want someone who will love Annie, and yet sees the Annie I will become as well, someone who is going to help me get there.While I do the same for him.