Tonight we went to dinner, casual and fun, we chatted and reminisced. Then I had to leave and as I walked back to my car I felt like I did back in college again. I felt like I was loosing my best friend and I was completely alone. There were tears streaming down my face as I paid the parking attendant and headed home.
I called zac. Because I don't mind telling him I am a mess. I don't care if he sees my weaknesses. No answer. So I left him a message. "Listen I though we had discussed how I need to have you available to me 24 hours a day. So if you want to call me back so we can talk about your priorities, maybe move some things around that would be great."
I end up at Jo-Ann Fabric and through my tears I am trying to find a very specific product. I had been staring at them for like ten minutes totally lost when my phone rings. ZACULA appears on the screen. "Thank you Heavenly father, You knew I needed a friend." So I told him what had happened. That we had gone to dinner and I had taken off... no big deal. Then I started to cry again. But I knew I was in the company of someone who cared that I was sad, even if for a very silly reason. By the time I checked out I was laughing again.
Thank you Heavenly Father, You knew I needed a friend. Since before I was put on this earth you knew they were going to be essential and you gave me some of the very very best. I wouldn't have made it though some very rough years without my Linds, AND I never would have kissed Eric, a moment in history I am glad I participated in. You put Zac in my life because you knew I NEEDED him. There is no way around it. I need someone who knows me so completely, even better than I know myself, and loves me. I could start listing the blessing you have given me in the way of friends, but I don't have that kind of time. But I am so grateful that I am being taken care of. To me the best part about friends is that they show you that there is something about you that can be loved. They show you that you are worth something, because they choose to love you.
Linds and I use to joke that we met in a certain pre-existence prep class. That we bonded goofing off in the back row. I wonder who else was back there with us?