Who wants a flower? Who wants a weed?

When I was very small, and adorably cute by the way, I use to run around with those white dandelions in my dirty little hands and sing "Who wants a flower, who wants a weed?" Well I pick the flower.

I use to also sing "I love you and I don't want to die." I was a messed up kid it would seem, by the song lyrics I wrote. But I wasn't. I was incredibly happy. And for the record. I still love you.

A Wednesday Confession

Today I called this number to fix a UPS shipping issuse. I was so ticked that I got a fax machine. I couldn't believe that someone would give me the wrong number. Turns out I had called my own fax number. It's just going to be one of those days.

a sort of confession

I have a problem. I get very emotionally involved in movies. When I watch Anne of Avonlea and she keeps telling Gilbert no I get all upset and I yell at the TV that she is an idiot and he loves her and she just needs to say yes and start being the happiest girl alive because any girl watching that movie would trade places with her in a heart beat and we would all say yes the first time.

When I watch Pride and Prejudice I get so involved in Miss Bennett and Mr. Darcy's relationship that I can barely handle watching the show. "You are both so in love with each other" I scream. Stop being so whatever you are and kiss each others face off! Then they do and it is real good! But think of all the time these people would save if they just listened to me!

However for me, the movie that I watch and can't get over is Gone With the Wind. In the end when Rhett walks out I am literally yelling at the screen "You love her, and she loves you, and she needs you and she knows it!!!! Just turn around and run back to her and live happily ever after.

I need to be in control of these peoples lives... seriously. Um and could someone please be in control of mine? Thanks.

Counting My Blessings

When I lived with Linds in college and she took a job in SLC I cried because I honestly couldn't picture my life without her in it. I was 100% lost. She had become a part of who I was and I loved her. Since then I have moves to SLC and she has moved to Seattle and due to my hatred of the phone we don't talk too much, but I still love her and I still feel that she is a huge part of who I am. 

Tonight we went to dinner, casual and fun, we chatted and reminisced. Then I had to leave and as I walked back to my car I felt like I did back in college again. I felt like I was loosing my best friend and I was completely alone. There were tears streaming down my face as I paid the parking attendant and headed home.

I called zac. Because I don't mind telling him I am a mess. I don't care if he sees my weaknesses. No answer. So I left him a message. "Listen I though we had discussed how I need to have you available to me 24 hours a day.  So if you want to call me back so we can talk about your priorities, maybe move some things around that would be great."

I end up at Jo-Ann Fabric and through my tears I am trying to find a very specific product. I had been staring at them for like ten minutes totally lost when my phone rings. ZACULA  appears on the screen.  "Thank you Heavenly father, You knew I needed a friend." So I told him what had happened. That we had gone to dinner and I had taken off... no big deal. Then I started to cry again. But I knew I was in the company of someone who cared that I was sad, even if for a very silly reason. By the time I checked out I was laughing again.

Thank you Heavenly Father, You knew I needed a friend. Since before I was put on this earth you knew they were going to be essential and you gave me some of the very very best. I wouldn't have made it though some very rough years without my Linds, AND I never would have kissed Eric, a moment in history I am glad I participated in. You put Zac in my life because you knew I NEEDED him. There is no way around it. I need someone who knows me so completely, even better than I know myself, and loves me. I could start listing the blessing you have given me in the way of friends, but I don't have that kind of time. But I am so grateful that I am being taken care of. To me the best part about friends is that they show you that there is something about you that can be loved. They show you that you are worth something, because they choose to love you. 

Linds and I use to joke that we met in a certain pre-existence prep class. That we bonded goofing off in the back row. I wonder who else was back there with us? 

HapPy BiRthDay LoLly!!!

Ode To Lolly:

I have a friend that loves with absolutely everything she has.
I have a friend that sacrifices for me
I have a friend that cries with me
I have a friend who share my Del Taco obsession
I have a friend that loves me in spite of
I have a friend who does thoughtful things
I have a friend with sassy red hair
I have a friend who is an awesome cook
I have a friend who drags me to vampire prom
I have a friend who helps me be a better person
I have a friend who helps me love myself the way I am
I have a friend who makes me laugh
I have a friend that makes me go to the doctor when the weird pain doesn't go away
I have a friend who doesn't allow me to be shy
I have a friend who encourages me
I have a friend who has seen me at my worse
I have a friend who supports me
I have a friend who was born on Free Slurpie Day!
I have a friend who doesn't judge
I have a friend who is good for 20 bucks for gas when you're unemployed
I have a friend who takes time to get to know the people who mean the most to me
I have a friend who doesn't care if neither of us get out of bed until lunch time
I have a friend who makes me that lunch and brings it to me in bed.
I have a friend who doesn't mind that I have a "drinking" problem
I have a friend who doesn't let me jump of cliffs or go on juice diets

I am blessed to have such a friend.

a little perspective

I was having a bad day at work the other day. I won't go into detail except to say that someone above me made a big oopsie and then shifted the blame to me. I was at work super late and didn't want to face rush hour traffic so I called Wade. His idea was Barnes and Noble and dinner at The Bay Leaf or Charlie Chows. So I head off to his place up by the U. I get on I-80 headed east and miss his exit so I had to get off way up on Parley's and while I am making my way back down to his place I start listing in my mind everything that is going wrong right now. Including the fact that I can't even get the correct exit for my BFFs place. Really? Really? I was ready for Wade to cheer me up. In the car he mentions that two people he knows are in the hospital and I blow right past it because we are SUPPOSE to be cheering me up. Don't you worry that the Bay Leaf was closed. Add it to the list right?

So we decided to go to Cafe Trang because I had never been there. There was a parking spot right out front with no meter and the ambiance is kinda cool. I was already feeling better. But I could tell Wade wasn't.

"Did I tell you two people I know are in the hospital."
"Yeah you mentioned it in the car."
"Well my little sister's heart surgery went okay and she is recovering nicely."
"Wait one of the people is your SISTER? With HEART surgery?"
"Yeah and they took my dad to the ER last night."
"What happened to him?"
"They still don't know, he's still in the hospital waiting to find out."
"Oh and guess what else? The guy in the cubicle next to me died this weekend."
"Really? How?"
"I don't know. It said doing what he loved so I guess that is good right?"
"As long as what he loved wasn't bing drinking sure."

So I am  BIG fat jerk and basically the worst friend ever. The night got better though when I went to the bathroom...

Taped to the stall was a sign that said "please no too much toilets papers. It over fill toilets, no so good."  I loved it and it made me laugh out loud so I sent Wade into the boys with my cell phone camera. They did not have the sign but Wade brought me a picture anyway.

Apparently they needed the sign in the little boys room as well. We left when this started happening at the table next to us.

Yes she is licking his arm and yes that dress is 100% see through. Believe it or not neither of us wanted a closer look and Wade said the only way we could stay is if he got to make out with my arm. So we left and went grocery shopping before we headed home. Which if you know Wade from previous shopping experiences...

Where he has taught us how to choose a nice firm milk... Grocery shopping can be the best of times.

One of these apples is not like the other... One of these apples just doesn't belong... Can you guess which one Wade stepped on and then put back because he rolls like that?

Not because he was trying to be mean or gross but because he can't stand for anything to not be in the right place in grocery stores. HA!

I got home to find out that one of my best friends from College has cancer again. Who gets Chemo at our age when we should be having babies? Lots of them!

I am so grateful that my life got put back into perspective. I have almost no problems compared to those around me. I'll take my life and enjoy every minute of it.