Saturday

Angels (part one)

I've learned something this week. Someone is looking out for me, and I believe that someone is my Heavenly Father. I was worried about weather on my road trip home. Wyoming Decembers can be unforgiving. We left on Friday after work and stayed at my Aunt's ranch. We stayed up all night talking and left late because we spent all morning talking, but it was so worth it.

The trip went fine from there until we stopped in Cheyenne for lunch and I forgot to get gas. Gas was 2.73 there so you wouldn't think I'd forget so easily. So we stop at a place outside of town. Katy went inside while I was supposed to use her card to fuel up. I however did not know her zip code. I tried the three I could think of then it locked her card. Oops! I didn't want to "see cahsier" so I planned to just pull to another pump when Katy returned and suggested I just use my own card.

So I do and we go to get back on the road and this man taps on our window. I roll the window down and he tells me I have a low tire. Ugh! Seriously? So I get out and look and it's ALL the way flat, like rim on the ground flat. I tell Katy to pull to the air pump that's like 20 feet away. No biggie. But its not holding air, like at all. Again, no biggie, I can change a tire. But the parking lot is basically one big ice sheet/snow drift. So where do I safely jack my car up? I start using my tire iron to chip away at the ice.

That's when a very attractive, or so Katy says, man comes up and asks if we need help. I tell him I'm capable but a man would certainly make things go a lot faster. He busts out this jumbo jack and has my tire changed in no time. He gives me back road instructions for getting into town and sends us on our way. I feel bad that his cigarettes fell in a puddle.

We find a Discount Tire on the GPS, where I recently purchased new tires, and on arrival the guy, Tony, says he's not the same Discount but he'll take care of us. He had it repaired quick and no charge. He even fixed my spare that was also loosing air fast. That flat could have happened anywhere in the middle of nowhere Wyoming. It could have been a blow out. So many little delays led to us being so wonderfully taken care of.

I knew then that there were angles watching over us. But it became more apparent a few days later. 

Monday

Tomorrow

Tomorrow is the birthday of my mommy. The day we celebrate the happy accident that is her life. I had a couple of days last week where I desperately needed her. It's been so many years and still when my heart is hurting or my little soul is in turmoil my first thought is to find my phone and call mom. If I can just talk to her for a minute, I think, then I know everything will be okay. If I could just curl up on the couch with her and watch X-Files, we don't even have to talk, I just want to know she's there. I want to tell her something funny that was said, or about some new adventure. I wish I could say I didn't have those days still but I do. Because you ALWAYS need your mommy.

As my little heart was aching, I learned of the tragedy in Connecticut. I thought instantly of that school full of children desperately needing their moms. So many children feeling that everything would be okay once they saw their mom.

Every year when I have tithing settlement and I have to look over my church record I pause for a minute as I read next to sealed to parents: "born under the covenant." To me there are no three words that mean more to me than those. I had the privilege of being born into an eternal family. There is nothing evil enough in this world to take my family away from me permanently. I tease Kate all the time about being stuck with her forever and I didn't even get to choose her. But the truth is, I'd choose her a million times again. I am grateful that we are sisters forever.

And that is all well and good. But sometimes, while we know we have forever, we are robbed of tomorrow. And it's awful, and it hurts, and we feel like nothing is ever going to be okay again. The truth is, it won't be the same, something will be missing, it will be an adjustment. It will hurt and you'll cry, and it may be a long time before "normal" returns.

For me it took awhile before the promise of eternity helped. In fact at first when people would say "families are forever, at least you know that," I would want to hurt someone. Because families didn't feel forever in that moment. I felt forever had changed and I didn't like it.    
      
As the years go by however, I am more and more aware of her presence in my life. More aware of how happy and proud her kids make her. More aware of how well and often she is watching over me. Happy birthday mom, I'm looking forward to eternity! 

Sunday

Confession

I hate gift giving. It isn't my love language and I'm really bad at it. People get me the most thoughtful gifts and I am amazed. I can not, for the life of me, do the same.

My dad always says that he's easy. But really he's super hard. I hear people say the same thing about me, but I am also easy to buy for.

Anything that has anything to do with any of the following will be treasured:

Baseball
Fishing
Cooking
Knitting
The Civil War
Children's books
Cowboys
Tools
My favorite sports teams:
(Phillies, Utah State, Nebraska)

Easy.