Compensation

I have been pondering recently, the principle of compensation.

When Elder Wirthlin gave his talk Come What May and Love it, I remember thinking. How will I be compensated for the loss of my mom and so many other dear friends in my life? I decided I should be compensated with a cowboy husband. I decided and I waited.

And I am still waiting because that is not how The Lord works. We don't pick our blessings do we?

In all actuality I am not waiting for my compensation.

I realized this a few weeks ago.

I had been outside playing with these two kiddos.

We even went fishing.
Later that night when I was holding this one tight as he fell asleep with a fever,

I looked down at him and thought "This is my compensation." I have 4 new eternal family members, that I wouldn't trade. If something happened to one of these guys my grief would be exponential. I lost one and gained 4. It isn't the compensation I picked out for myself, but I'll take it. I will more than take it. I will be eternally grateful for every sticky kiss, sassy expression, and story read.

I haven't given up completely on my cowboy husband.

Since you brought it up....

This is how I now feel about my cowboy man.
If you aren't an actual cowboy that's cool, you can be a cowboy on the inside.