Perspective

Sometimes I struggle with perspective.

I think things in my life are bad or stressful and every single time the Lord reminds me how good I have it. So many of the people I love are going through MUCH harder things and really my life is great. Last night I was helping to set up a stage and I broke my nail. It shouldn't be a big deal but it ripped half way down and half way across and it hurt.

 
Jake and Joey were the only ones I could get any sympathy from until girls started to show up. While I was sitting there showing my "very serious wound" to a friend of mine she showed me the arm that her son, the orthopedic surgeon, was working on. Um... YIKES! It was hanging on by a little bit of skin and maybe a little tendon. I am going to be sick just thinking about it. I thought well I have my arm... both of them actually, and I just sat there and kind of stroked my own arm for a minute so grateful that it was there and intact.

How crazy is it that there are people out there who can put an arm back together that is only held on by a little bit of skin. Guys this arm was torn up and nasty and She said that the guy actually had feeling in his hand yesterday. Modern medicine is a miracle.

Oh and of course we know everything was better after Kyle sang to us some Johnny Cash.

Rough

Couldn't be more true! Thanks to my friends who listened so well to what Linds always calls "the friendship spirit." Amazing how when you need them the most your friends just appear out of nowhere to cheer you up again!

A Temple Marriage

I was chatting with my Papa and Step Mom a few weeks ago. On our way out to The Robot's cafe actually. I mentioned that finding a man who will marry me in the temple is just not going to cut it anymore. Let me explain. Do I want to be married in the temple? Absolutely, it won't happen anywhere else.

That, however, is now the minimum requirement. I don't want a man who is simply temple worthy, I want one who LOVES the temple, makes it a priority, returns with me regularly, and recognizes it's incredible power in the lives of our family. Which means I want more than a temple wedding. I require a temple marriage.

I feel sometimes as single women in the gospel we feel a need to pretend like we don't want to be married and we are perfectly happy being single. Which in some ways is true. I am single and I am happy. That doesn't mean that when I see a woman screaming at her little man in the Wal-Mart that my heart doesn't ask why she gets to have one and not me. Or that I am not sad that the amount of babies I want to have has been drastically reduced by the years I have spent not having them.

I was sad/worried enough about it a few years ago that I decided I was just going to ask The Lord why I was waiting. No need to be subtle with Him. He answered me as directly as I asked him and my heart was calmed. I am content, even excited to wait now. In college I heard this little quote and have tried to live by it.

 "Stop thinking of 

the man of your dreams,

and become the

woman of his."

Simple, but in my mind powerful. I have a friend who is upset with me for not working harder at finding a man. I feel that by working hard at perfecting myself, I am doing everything I need to be doing to find him. I don't think it needs to be hard or that I need to be "on the prowl." It just isn't me. I think that as with any true friendship when the right person comes along it won't be hard at all. I think it will just click. Have you worked hard to make friends with your very best ones? I haven't. One day they are just a part of your life and you realize that you want them to always be. 

I found this on Pinterest this morning. Randomly, when for some reason I was not logged in. 

I want this to be me. Not the woman who is throwing myself at a man because I don't like myself enough to be alone. Once I logged into Pinterest, I searched by Maya Angelou so I could find the above quote and pin it, and I also found this one. 

I am not just trusting life. I am trusting The Lord who knows ALL things. I am living my life the best way I know how, working hard at becoming a better woman, and one third of a future eternal temple marriage. When life changes I am prepared for it. Until then I am happy to be just me, Annie Hall.

Robot's Cafe

The Beins family is basically part of my family. They have two sons Flower (Joe), and Robot (Jon). We nickname everyone, really no lie. We now call the whole family the Robots. Bill is Robot Senior and Anne is Sister Robot. Well they recently sold their home in Kearny, NE and bought a restaurant in Arapaho, NE, about an hour away. While we were home Dad and Melane were sweet enough to take us out there to sample the cooking and visit with the Robots.

We started at the counter for breakfast. The restaurant is buffet style. We had bacon, and Robot Senior's special recipe breakfast sausage, while he continuously brought us ham steaks. Which we fought over until they were gone. Delicious.

Not to be ones to miss out on delicious food, we then took a break and headed over to the local grocery store.

 I loved these shopping baskets that have to be antique.

My little monkey is modeling one for us here. I spend a GOOD amount of time looking at each and every tractor, car, truck etc that he wanted for Christmas from now until he is retired. Good thing boys never get tired of such things. In true small town Nebraska style, this was a general store carrying clothing, food, toys, crafts supplies, etc. I found a tackle bag I felt I almost needed but I walked away. Dad however could not walk away from the smoked turkey he purchased and made for Christmas Dinner. Thanks Papa it was very delicious!

Then back to the Robot's Cafe. I think they should name it that, just sayin'.

This is Dolly. She came in, curlers and all, to see if they had any lasagna left over from the day before. To her great disappointment they did not. She was full of pep and sass, but sadly not lasagna as today was seafood day. Did you know that I LOVE seafood, Shrimp and scallops especially. But after sampling The fried Chicken that Robot Senior made I didn't touch another piece of seafood the rest of the time we were there. I don't like "on the bone chicken" and typically, in my opinion, the flavor is all in the skin and the meat isn't so delicious. THIS chicken was one of the best things I have ever tasted. The skin was perfectly crisp and delicious, and the amazingly moist meat had all the PERFECT flavor of the skin. Oh my goodness!

 

Robot Senior in the Kitchen.

I seriously have dreamed about this chicken twice since we went there. Why oh why do I have to wait for another trip home to sample it? Life is certainly not fair from time to time. Perhaps, though it is a blessing in disguise to keep me skinny.

Random

Why do I spend ALL my spare time
on Food Gawker when I am dieting?

You would think I would be kinder to myself.


* * * * *

I have been studying the concept of cellular memory
and it is fascinating.

Do you know scientists are discovering that
our heart is like a mini brain?
That it stores memory and influences
our thoughts and actions?

It is way more involved, interesting,
and cool than I am going to make it sound here.
I'll send you a link to an article or two if you are interested.

* * * * *

I cried three times yesterday.

Once in front of my boss,
once at the Maverick,
and once in the parking lot of the Comfort Inn in SLC.

Needless to say I was an emotional mess.
Not even Keith Urban was helping. 

Then I spent the evening with one of my BFFs Lolly.
Who made it all better by just being there,
and making time for me.

By the time I drove home I was all smiles.

* * * * *

For those of you who saw last night's Facebook status.
The one stating that I was almost certain,
I was Telestial Kingdom material.
Don't worry it had everything to do with
what happened at the Maverick.

And my guilt had everything to do with why I cried
at the Comfort Inn, and why I went back,
braving 5pm traffic to make it right again.

I haven't decided yet if I am going to share the story.
It is funny, in a way.
At the time it was simply stressful, crazy, and a little terrifying.

* * * * *

I am really so so grateful to Lolly.
I really needed a friend last night,
and she and Katy were miraculously there
to laugh with me about it,
and made sure I didn't feel too bad.
Then we went hot tubbing.
You guys are the best.

* * * * *

Missing the sibs

 Do you know what this adorable kiddo 
is doing in this photograph, 
to be preserved for years to come?
Picking the popcorn texture off his ceiling.

All day I have been missing this kiddo.

 Yes I took this picture in church, don't judge me, but he was letting me cuddle him and it happens so rarely.Well that is a lie, it just has to happen on his terms. Like sitting on the arm of the couch and slowly leaning over until he is laying across me. He thinks I don't know what he is up to, but I do.

In fact I miss all my siblings when they are far away. 
Which makes the time I get with them so precious.

In the above picture I have captured two of my favorite things: 

My dad's cooking, and naughtiness in my siblings.

I think you can tell from this picture that this kiddo could use a real good squeeze. And you can see Madi in the background getting ready to blow us all away with her Christmas story. Seriously, we were all remembering Santa gifts from years past and that little princess brought us all back to the true meaning of the evening. I was impressed

Oh look another picture from church and another adorable sibling who has also recently decided she wants to be a cuddler.

My Logan boy is reaching that age where he can enjoy hanging with the adults which is fun for me. But also is still a big kid which the little ones sure enjoy. Truth be told kids of all ages enjoy playing Mario Kart and watching me fall off cliffs every minute of so.

We were able to talk with Jarom for awhile on Christmas. 

 We each had ten minutes which wasn't even close to enough,

and Jake and his wife spent Christmas in California with her family.

I just miss all of them. Except Kate. Because well, I see her every day.

The One Where Kyle is Older

I had a temple shift on Kyle's birthday, (new Kyle for those who know both), then left the first thing the next morning for home. I almost forgot his birthday post.

My favorite Kyle quotes:

"I can't tell what that is. Must be a turkey or a deer or something."

"Of course I'm a good shot, do you know how many Louis L'Amour books I've read?"

"Your house isn't messy, you just have a LOT of shoes."

"Did you bring your adventure pants? All MY pants are adventure pants!"

P.S. I think he liked it when I told him how sexy he is in front of his parents. I couldn't help it, the man read Louis L'Amour to us by the campfire while camping in the Uintas, and sang "Tougher Than the Rest" while playing guitar. He is single and I think someone should fall in love with him.  He also has a VERY sexy voice, and is handy with a saw.